I think I started seven blog posts Sunday - each time saving it to a draft. Maybe later. But not right now.
Nothing was quite working. None of my posts were clicking. I was too tired from a weekend of tons of moving, cleaning, yard work and yoga (our weekend was wild over here!).
And isn't that sometimes how life feels? A little disconnected. A little disheveled. Like ships in the night with those we love. Like this or that might just need to be saved to a draft - shelved for another time.
I am in the midst of Storyline and yesterday in the book, Donald Miller wrote about conflict and how even though we say we don't want to face trials, we actually do. Because facing trials - pushing through them and coming out successful - brings us joy. If life was always easy and perfect, we'd get tired of it - we wouldn't be grateful for it. But when you go through something hard, when you work for what you want - oh the joy! It feels so good when you've earned it.
Sunday I mowed our lawn and weeded the gardens in the pouring rain - one last hurrah before the new homeowners took over. And while I was doing it, I was thinking about what Donald Miller said. I joke that I'm a masochist, but I think the reality is that I just love the joy you feel when it's all over. Mowing the yard in the rain wasn't that fun, but gosh I felt like the king when I was finished.
A hard workout hurts so badly. But don't you feel amazing when it's over?
And being lonely isn't fun, but doesn't it make being in love that much sweeter? When you know what the world looks like without it, don't you value it that much more?
I have a friend who says that when things are going really well, she often can't relax, because she's afraid that means something bad is around the corner. It can't be this good all the time.
I'm more on the opposite side of things - always high expectations, excited, sure the good is coming next and next and next. But I think what Donald Miller says helps us meet in the middle. Because if it's all good all the time, maybe we don't value it quite as much. Maybe we need the trials to help us realize how fortunate we are during the good times. And, even when things seem hard, we know that nothing lasts forever, and before we know it, we'll be on the good side again. But the only way to find out is to trust that there is a bigger plan - and to push that lawn mower through the rain.