enough to go around

"A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." Loving Leah

When I was in sixth grade, my teacher called me to her desk. The class was working silently, but momentarily put down their pencils to listen.

"Whitney, are you Catholic?" she asked.
"No, we're Presbyterian," I said naively.
"Oh, OK," she smirked.

Today, I can only thank the Lord himself for blessing me with such blissful Catholic innuendo ignorance.

My teacher, who'd recently learned I was one of five children, was implying that my parents must not use birth control.

Now, it almost seems funny though, that Nadya Suleman didn't have to decide whether or not she believed in contraceptives. She didn't even need to have sex to conceive her fourteen children.

It's interesting, though, that Suleman's fourteen are now opening up criticism for women who have chosen to have five or six children (or really any more than three).

These women, assumed to be either incredibly religious or the victims of a medical mishap, are being told that they couldn't possibly have enough love and affection for so many kids.

And maybe if I hadn't been one of five, I'd say the same thing. Maybe I too would think that after three kids a mother's love is maxed out and she's forced to spread it thinly over the remaining kids like the last of the butter on burnt toast (the heel of the bread, mind you).

But I know this is not the case. I know that even if the first four kids are happily tucked in bed, snuggling with puppies and dreaming of Disney World, my mom can't sleep. She can't sleep until her fifth baby is tightly tucked in too. Even if four of us are kings and queens of great countries, if the fifth is still a pauper, she's not completely happy.

And it became ever-more evident last weekend, during my final Mom's Weekend. My mom came, even though she's been to IU thousands of times (she did go here...). Even though I saw her last weekend and will see her next weekend. Even though she lives approximately one hour from IU, she booked a hotel for the weekend. It was a weekend of shopping, dining and fabulous outings, and her love could not have been any more abundant.

And when Sam said to her, "Mom, will you buy me..." and she began, "Yes..." before he finished the sentence, it was obvious she'd do anything to keep even the last of five happy.

So, maybe Suleman is crazy, seeing as she was already struggling to support her six children. Maybe it wasn't the best choice, seeing as she's single and living with her parents. Who really knows? Regardless of how much her decision lacks logic, it's evident that it certainly doesn't lack love.

save the newspapers

"The basis of our governments is being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right. And if it were left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate to prefer the latter." Thomas Jefferson, January 1787

You can't go a day without putting a peso in Slim's pocket

Somewhere between pretending to be a princess and playing with her Barbies, almost every little girl dreams of being Miss America.

She dreams of walking on the stage and waving to the audience. She dreams of smiling as she sincerely answers, "I'd wish for world peace." She dreams of having the crown placed on her head as she is simultaneously robed in the "Miss Congeniality" sash...

...maybe not every little girl. But, this little girl once dreamed of it. And, apparently, so did my fellow Hoosier, Katie Stam. Stam, 22, and a senior at the University of Indianapolis, was most likely dressing her Barbies and dreaming of the crown around the same time I was.

I remember sitting in my parents' bedroom years ago (circa 1994), watching as the four final contestants competed in the pageant. The first girl came out of a soundproof glass enclosure, and was asked, "If you could do anything for an entire day, and the next day, no one would know and there would be no consequences, what would you do?" (think Groundhog's Day) The girl looked at the speaker and said, "I'd walk around naked all day." Her response was met awkwardly by the audience, unsure how to react.

The second contestant came out of the glass cage and was asked the same question. She said, "I'd eat all day! I'd eat everything I could possibly imagine until I felt too full." The audience laughed at her all-American response. Can you blame her? Who wouldn't over-indulge?

As I watched from the floor of my parents' bedroom, I memorized her answer. I remember thinking: When I'm the final four in the Miss America pageant and they ask me that question, I will remember to say I'd eat. And I will definitely avoid saying anything about being naked.

Around the same time I began practicing for Miss America, I also dreamt of a magical place. It was a little island, with no cars. You had to drive golf carts and ride horses around. The island was covered in lush golf courses and sat next to the sparkling ocean. It was the most beautiful and wonderful place on earth; it was almost too wonderful to imagine. Which is why it's so convenient that I didn't have to just dream of the place- it was real: Daufuskie Island.

Sadly, though, today I learned that Daufuskie has declared bankruptcy. The dream island seems to be experiencing a nightmare that is all too common right now. And yet, no matter how shocked and disappointed this news made me, I was even more surprised to hear that the WSJ put The New York Times on its list of companies that would not make it through 2009. Daufuskie was a childhood staple. The New York Times is an American staple.

Lucky for the unlucky NYT, Carlos Slim Helu, a Mexican billionaire, loaned them $250 million. Though the loan comes at a steep interest rate (14%), it should tide the Times over until they're a little more stable.

I only wish that someone would take the same pity on Daufuskie Island. I might shoot Katie Stam an email and ask her if next time she's in the spotlight and they ask her what she'd wish for, she can give a shout out to Daufuskie in addition to the whole world peace thing.