a love letter to you & 2015

December 14, 2015 Whitney Saxon

Happy Monday, friends! I'm so excited to share my first Sometimes, Always, Never newsletter. A pep talk for your inbox! I won't be posting them here after this first edition, so feel free to subscribe if you're interested in keeping up-to-date.

A love letter to you.

Dear friends,

I'll admit I'm still figuring out how to manage my own business. I'm still learning how to create my personal brand, keep up with my website and understand industry trends. There is so much to learn as you begin launching, creating and planning a small business. It's beautiful and overwhelming all at once.

Last week, I logged into my MailChimp account for the first time since I set it up (again, admittedly still learning). I was shocked and overwhelmed to find all of your names signed up to receive my newsletter.

I wanted to take a moment to tell you how much this means to me.

Thank you. Thank you for signing up and for indicating to me that you want to hear more from me - and hear more about what I'm doing. Absolutely nothing could mean more to me.

2015 has been a beautiful year. It has been full of so much joy as I got engaged, began launching my own business and became more sure of my purpose on this Earth. Thank you for walking in this journey with me. Thank you for your love, support, prayers and willingness to take the time to read what I'm up to. Absolutely nothing could mean more to me.

So, here's to more growth and adventure in 2016. Here's to more passion, more love and more excitement. And, most of all, here's to you.

Receive this baby by email!

Life Update: Project to Love Ourselves

December 10, 2015 Whitney Saxon

Two years ago, I went to Africa on a mission trip. One afternoon, while we were building a mud wall for a school, a Ugandan girl in her early 20s started asking me questions about life in America. After a bit, she asked me if I was married. I told her I wasn't and she said, Oh, it's OK, maybe someday he'll find you.

I immediately stopped slinging mud and smiled at her as I realized that even with our wildly different backgrounds, cultures and lifestyles, we both wanted the same thing.

We all share a fundamental need to be known, loved and accepted as who we are.

My trip to Africa began a long {long, long} journey of self-reflection. I've struggled a lot with what my purpose on this Earth is. I've questioned whether we need to have jobs that fulfill our purpose, or if we can have check-the-box jobs with passion projects on the side. I have cried, felt stuck and felt overwhelming joy. It has been two years of serious growth, which, many of you know, culminated in me pursuing a life coaching certification.

When I told you I was going to become a coach, I thought it was over. I thought: done! This is it! I have found my calling. The hard part is over wahoo!

In a way, I was right. I finished my coaching classes and have begun taking clients. I have loved every minute of it and intend to keep growing this business next year. But, little did I know, this was just the beginning of where this journey would take me.

On June 8, I woke up and realized, without a shadow of doubt, that I needed to take this project further. I realized one of my deepest passions in this world is building confidence and self worth in women and girls. I realized the things I learned in Africa, the challenges I faced in childhood and the decisions I'd made throughout high school and college were preparing me for this next journey.

Beginning next summer, I'll be launching day camps for girls ages 6 to 9, with a focus on self worth and confidence. I'll work with them on knowing who they are and what they stand for. We'll talk a lot about why they matter and why they're more than just how they look.

It's all part of my bigger mission: Project to Love Ourselves. My goal is to reach women and girls of all ages; I believe that if we can learn to love ourselves better, we can love others better, too. And, I firmly believe that one of the only things the world needs more of is love.

Sharing all of this makes me feel very vulnerable.

I don't have all of the details sorted out. I am still finalizing which cities it will be in and determining costs for renting space to host the camps. In fact, I am still looking for space for the camps!

Sharing this project before it is ready to launch goes against my natural inclinations. But, I want to come to this space with honesty and vulnerability. I want you to know I would appreciate, more than anything, your prayers. If you're so willing, I'd love for you to pray that:

I can find the right spaces for the camps
Can finish developing the appropriate curriculum
Can find the right girls to whom I can market the camps

I also want you to know that sometimes people have dreams and it looks like everything just falls into place for them over night, but it actually takes a lot of under-the-radar work. I don't want to present perfection to you, but instead, honesty. I want to invite you into this project as supporters, if you'll be that for me.

So that is where I stand today :) Happy Thursday!

dear world, i see you

December 1, 2015 Whitney Saxon

There is a certain level of anonymity you can maintain in Atlanta if you want to. If you yearn to run errands in your pajamas and leave the house without makeup, you can do it without fear of being recognized.

It creates a stark contrast to the way I grew up, of which I'm always reminded when I'm home for the holidays. When you go to the grocery in my hometown, you see at least three people you know. Your face can be recognized and your name recalled by people you've never met - simply because you resemble your parents and siblings. If you forget your wallet, you can tell them you'll be right back because you live just a few blocks away.

There is a constant feeling of known-ness and seen-ness that is easy to acquire and maintain. In Atlanta, to be seen and known, you have to work for it. You have to earn it and ask for it and give it in return.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the juxtaposition these two towns have created in my life - there is a canyon between the two ways of living. I often wonder how I can be so happy in such different places. Could I live in one without the opportunity to visit the other, and still remain happy? Do I need both?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of participating in the Fearless Dialogues workshop. The goal of the day was to encourage us to better see and hear the people around us.

After the workshop, I flew to Virginia to meet my sister's new baby. As I stood in the airport, I noticed that all around me, people were looking down at their phones. Like moles burrowing in the ground, each person's neck was hunched; eyes glued to their phones.

I decided this was my chance to change my ways. What if, instead of seeing only my phone until I landed in Virginia, I tried to see the people around me?

I felt overwhelmed by the beauty that surrounded me as I began my mission.

I noticed the warmth in the flight attendant's smile and the strength in the hands of the man sitting next to me. I noticed how long a mother's eyelashes were as she stared lovingly at the baby sleeping in her arms.

I heard stories from a man in the army who recently moved to Colorado and was having a hard time adjusting to the new lifestyle. And from a minister who just adopted a child from Russia and was struggling to integrate her into his family.

I noticed all around me that people are yearning to be seen, to be heard and to be known. But we're so wrapped up in our devices and the world we could be missing that we miss the one right in front of us.

As the hustle, bustle and insanity of the holiday season descends upon us, I'm focusing less on my to do list and more on seeing the world around me. It's so easy to run errands with our shopping list in hand, replying to texts and emails and phone calls as we rush through it all.

But this year, my goal is to see the cashier that rings me up, give a big, teethy smile to the valet who is parking my car and collect stories from the people around me as quickly as I'm collecting receipts.

why i don't want to lose weight for my wedding day

November 23, 2015 Whitney Saxon

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm the girl who has dreamed about her wedding her entire life. When I meet those cool chicks who say things like, I've never once thought about my wedding day, I think, you are cooler than me, for sure. But, I am who I am. And I'm the type of girl who has dreamed of being a wife for as long as I can remember. Does this make me cool? Probably not. But, it makes me honest.

I've had visions of the flowers, the music and, of course, my dress, for as long as I can remember. I've dreamed of the way my groom will tear up when he sees me for the first time and how it will feel when we pray together - realizing this is the start of something very important.

It turns out, I'm not alone. The more I plan, the more I realize girls all over the world have dreamed of this day their entire lives and will stop at nothing but perfection. And alongside selecting the perfect cake and food is a desire to be perfect themselves.

Since getting engaged, the resources have poured in:
How to have whiter, straighter teeth by your wedding day
How to have softer, fuller hair in six months
How to have longer lashes and legs and everything in between by next week

The wedding industry has created a posture of self-improvement that can make almost any girl, no matter how confident, wonder if she, too, needs slimmer arms and a more toned back by May.

Don't worry about your legs! The magazines day. They won't show on your wedding day. When I read that advice, I laughed. They won't show for the few hours I'm going to be in my dress, so I should just forget about them? What about the wedding night? And honeymoon? Also, more rationally, what about caring for each part of your body, not because it will show but because it functions and is, therefore, significant?

I decided early on that I won't give in to the pressure to lose weight for our wedding.

Soon after we got engaged, I was walking into the gym, which I do most every day, when someone stopped me and said, gotta get those wedding arms! I laughed in the moment, but as I walked away, I wondered if she knew she was implying that my arms were not good enough as they are now.

I wasn't offended. I get it. Everyone wants to look amazing on their wedding day, when they'll be the star of the show and tagged in a bajillion photos, which will remain on the internet forever & ever.

But I want our engagement season to be about more than just one day.

I want it to be about building a marriage, not just planning a wedding. I want it to be about bending and shaping my heart and mind to be the best wife I can be. I want it to be about growing closer to Chris, my family and our friends. About celebrating love, not about changing myself.

Yes. I want to look and feel beautiful when I walk down the aisle toward Chris. The thought of seeing him for the first time gives me chills and I hope he thinks I'm stunnning. But, I don't want to look all that different than I do today, either. I don't want to look back at wedding photos and yearn for that one moment in time, when I was thinner. I want to look back and see joy in my eyes and love between us.

I don't want to give in to the idea that I am not enough today, as a fiance, to become a wife. I don't want to bend and mold myself to societal pressure to be more bride-like and less-Whitney like. I refuse to believe that I need to be smaller, firmer or less than I am now in order to be worthy of walking down the aisle. In fact, I'm determined to believe that becoming wedding ready is about becoming more of myself, more generous toward Chris and more certain of our love. It's about becoming more, not less. And, if that means I won't fit in a smaller dress come May, I'm OK with it.