The Best Affordable Dry Shampoo

Last month I confessed I only wash my hair once a week. A handful of people reached out with questions and, what I heard people say most clearly is: I could never do that. My hair gets so greasy.

First of all, let me tell you that one year ago, I was washing my hair daily. Daily! I felt like it was greasy by the end of day two. But, a friend encouraged me to try to spread out my washes and, after a little research, I learned that the more you wash your hair, the more oil it produces. You don't want to wash it as much? Don't wash it as much. 

It took some effort, but, slowly, I trained my hair to be washed less and less. I started with an every other day schedule and progressively increased the duration between washes. Let me tell you: I had some BAD hair days last winter as I worked toward my goal. Real. Bad. I thought I was going to get reprimanded at work a few times (not joking!).

Here we are, one year later, and my hair is significantly thicker and healthier. I shower daily, but am saving so much time avoiding constant washing and styling. 

This is after a week of no washing. No filter or edits on the photo :) 

Everyone's hair is different and the single wash/week might not work for you, but, I can almost guarantee that, if you're washing daily or every other day, you could stand to wash less. I found Almost Exactly blog to be a really good resource for learning tricks to reduce washing and moving to a more natural routine.  

After spending the last year testing all sorts of dry shampoos, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites. I wish (wish, wish!) I could afford to use an EWG-approved kind each day, but, at this time, it's not in the budget. I go through them too quickly. 

Dry Shampoo Ranking:

Newest favorite: Verb’s Dry Shampoo

Pros: I received this newly reformulated dry shampoo as a gift from Verb and have loved it! It smells wonderful and is great for dark hair. It leaves my hair voluminous and looking fresh.
Cons: It does leave a bit of white residue initially, but I found it blends in easily much more than some of the others.

Best all-around: L'Oreal Extraordinary Clay Dry Shampoo 

I discovered this at Kroger and allowed myself to believe it was maybe a little bit more eco-friendly since it had clay in the title. Probably a lie, but it made me feel better :) 

Pros: It absorbs oil well, but does not leave residue. It added volume to my hair without weighing it down. It smells amazing, too.
Cons: The bottle is a little smaller than some of the others, but worth paying a dollar more for what it does.

Most effective: Not Your Mothers Shampoo Dry Clean Freak

Pros: This dry shampoo left my hair feeling and looking the cleanest. It did not leave any residue and didn't weigh my hair down.
Cons: It is unscented and I prefer a light smell (nothing too overpowering, though). 

Best smelling: R+Co Death Valley Dry Shampoo

OK OK. This one isn't affordable. I bought it when I was in a pre-wedding haze and I felt like I needed everything, ever to make myself look and feel beautiful. But I thought I'd include it since it has been fully vetted. 

Pros: By farrrrr the best smelling dry shampoo I've used (I think it rivals Moroccanoil Dry Shampoo!) 
Cons: The price. And, I didn't think it was as effective as drug store brands at reducing oils. 

Runner up for all-around best: Herbal Essences Naked Dry Shampoo

Again, the name here implies some level of healthiness, which is just the kind of marketing tactic that gets me. 

Pros: No residue left behind, nice scent and definitely effective at reducing oils.
Cons: It didn't thicken my hair like the Extraordinary Clay did. But, it didn't leave residue or anything, so I'd buy it again.

Best non-dry shampoo option: Aveda Pure Abundance Hair Potion

OK don't freak out at the price of this one. It's a little bottle but it lasts for-ev-er. I have barely dented it since my friend Sara gave it to me in March. 

Pros: It seriously thinkens my hair and creates a matte texture that makes it look clean. 
Cons: Well, it's not actually a dry shampoo. So I don't know that it necessarily absorbs oil; it seems more like it covers it. 

Worth mentioning: Suave Professionals Dry Shampoo, Keratin Infusion

Pros: A total bargain and definitely effective. Nice scent, no residue left behind. I'd buy it again, but it wasn't my favorite all around.
Cons: I read online that it weighs some people's locks down, so if you don't have coarse hair, it could be an issue. 

The most residue left behind: TRESemmé Fresh Start Dry Shampoo

Pros: Nice scent, effective at making hair look clean. Very affordable.
Cons: This shampoo left a lot of residue behind for me. I don't know why, because other people seem to love it. It was not for me. 

Most overrated: Batiste Dry Shampoo - Fresh

Pros: Effective at cleaning, did not leave residue
Cons: I was so, so excited to try Batiste Dry Shampoo. It has gotten rave reviews and was an Amazon #1 new release in February. The smell was way too overpowering for me. I couldn't even finish the bottle. Chris isn't sensitive to smells and even he was overwhelmed by it. 

And now, a few I'd LOVE to try:

Qet botanicals: They have crazy-good EWG ratings! I would love to try their Lavender Powder Dry Shampoo.

Moroccanoil Dry Shampoo: I've used a friend's once and loved the smell. Definitely want to try it!

February Recap & March Goals

February was a short month, since we left for Kenya on the 17th. But! We hustled hard those first two weeks of the month.

As we made to-do lists and set our alarm extra early the week we were leaving, I told Chris it reminded me so much of the week I left for Uganda: running on caffeine, zipping all around town, trying to get everything done and SO EXCITED. But this time I was doing it with him! 

We kick started February with a visit from one of my favorite people: my mom! She came for a long weekend of Galentine's Day prep, long walks, coffee drinking and being pals :) It's the best having her here and it always, always makes me question why my family doesn't all live in one city. I felt so very lucky and grateful that she came to visit. 

Our favorite way to dine as a family: Carry out! Community Q = such good ATL BBQ. 

Other highlights from our month were watching the Super Bowl, mothering the puppies for a few days (I miss them!) and hosting Galentine's Day. Other than that, we mostly prepared for Kenya.

Here's how I did on my February goals:

1. Finishing preparing for Kenya! // Oh ya! Done. Good thing since we're currently in Kenya! :)

2. File our taxes  // I didn't get this done. I tried, but I ran out of time. I really, really wanted to do it, but I had to let it go. It was a good opportunity to practice speaking back to the voice of perfectionism and reminding myself that it will alll be OK. Getting them done in February would have been nice. But March is OK, too. #emotionalgains

3. Finish a freelance project I picked up // Done! :) 

My berry ice cubes, which is probably the closest I've ever coming to making something I saw on Pinterest actually look like what I saw. 

4. Host Galentine's Day and another Write Night! // Done and done! Galentine's Day was an incredible opportunity to meet a handful of you readers and writers and I am truly so grateful for your participation. We also had two Write Nights (one in LA and one in Portugal!). It was so exciting and humbling to watch this project grow in new places. 

5. Begin to launch the first official collegiate chapter of The Letter Project // This is happening! We are opening our first chapter at Indiana University. In early February, I met with the two women who will be our onsite Ambassadors. They are incredible and are already doing amazing things to get the chapter off the ground. (Any IU girls who want to be involved, feel free to email me!)

6. Get all of the January letter bundles out before we leave for Kenya // Done! It was a hustle until the very end, but every letter request from January was sent out by the time we left. 

7. Pre-write posts for the three weeks we're in Kenya // Done :) 

8. Figure out what the heck to do about Stu the Bamboo. He's not in a good place, guys. // He's doing better. We moved him around our bedroom a little bit to find the right balance of light, but I'm nervous to see how he will look when we get back. Prayers for Stu are appreciated!

Now, for March goals!

1. Do our taxes! But for real this time. 

2. Organize my external hard drive, Google photos, DropBox, etc. I am between two external hard drives right now, so things feel a little disorganized. It is going to be a big undertaking, but, no doubt will be worth it. 

3. Catch up on all of the Letter Requests that are submitted while we're in Kenya

4. Blog about Kenya

5. Figure out Chris' 30th birthday celebration :) 

6. Re-home Stu. We're renovating and I think things are going to be looking up for him verrrry soon. 

7. Take on another freelance project. I'm working with a 20-something to revamp her website and write some copy. Excited! 

8. Do a big Write Night at Emory with a sorority

9. Do some sort of Writer appreciation (because they rock!)

10. Host our first Letter Project themed birthday party for a 12-year-old girl. I am SO excited to try out this idea. 

Wahoo. Let's do this, March!

A Farewell Letter to Perfectionism

Dear Perfectionism,

You found me when I was a tween with big brown eyes and a little body that was only just beginning to stretch out, remnants of baby fat still holding on tight. You sunk your teeth into me at school, telling me that I was OK as I was, but wouldn't I be better with straight A's?

You spread your arms wide across my life, seeping in, like milk into a glass of coffee, until we were one. No longer me + perfectionism, but, instead, a new version of me, one that was obsessed with becoming perfect. You convinced me that perfect equalled good. And didn't I want to be a good girl? 

You taught me that I'd be more lovable - better - if I joined more clubs in middle school. And, in high school, you convinced me that if I was going to join them anyway, shouldn't I run for office? Why just participate, when you can be a leader? You asked me. Leaders are better.  

By then, you'd latched on to my appearance, too. You made me question my round face, wondering if I'd be more beautiful without chubby cheeks. You asked questions about why I was so tall. Most of the boys aren't even this tall, you reminded me. Why are you taller than them, when you're a girl? 

You noticed, before I did, that I wasn't going on very many dates. You started to point out why that was. My mom told me I was intimidating because I was so beautiful and smart. (Bless moms everywhere.) But you told me she was wrong.

You told me it was because I wasn't as pretty as those other girls, that boys wouldn't find someone like me attractive.

You made me wonder if being so tall was manly. Maybe that's why they don't like you, you told me. They probably think you're manly. 

By senior year, you'd won. I applied to seven colleges, got into six and was waitlisted by the seventh. Instead of celebrating, you reminded me that the waitlist was a failure. You waved it in front of me like a white flag, Surrender! You told me. Just give up. You aren't fooling anyone anymore. Everyone knows you're not smart now. 

You convinced me to go to the University of Chicago. Not because I wanted to - I didn't even know what I wanted. I was too far into your game to understand my own thoughts or feelings anymore. I went there because it was the best school that accepted me. I'll never forget standing on the steps after Christmas break, hugging my dad, begging him: Please don't leave me here. But he had to, because I'd chosen this. 

But you know what, Perfectionism? I'll never forget the first time I told you no. The first time I told you I wasn't playing this game anymore. It was just three months after my dad hugged me goodbye on those cold, Chicago steps. It was when I moved out of my dorm during spring break, without saying goodbye to any of my friends. You told me I was a quitter, leaving mid-spring. But I did it anyway. You told me people would see I wasn't that smart or tough after all, if I quit college my very first year. And did they? Maybe. But I was too tired, too confused to care. 

And, for the first time, I began to see that I would be OK without you.

I wish, in that very moment, I'd realized you'd been lying to me all those years. But I didn't. I transferred to Indiana University and fell right back into my old patterns. I joined every club I could find, then ran for office in each one. I ran a marathon, took 24 credit hours in one semester, got a job, become a tour guide and cried to my mom on the phone when I got more than one B that semester. Those Bs were like blemishes across my transcript, shouting to the whole world that I had failed - that I couldn't do it all, after all. That I wasn't as tough as I thought I was. 

You're burning the candle at both ends, my dad told me time and time again. You need to slow down and make time to rest, he reminded me when I'd call him between meetings, swinging from one to the next like Tarzan.  I promised him I was fine - that I could do it - as you whispered to me, Perfectionism, that I had to do it all, so I could be the best.

I let you carry me through college, Perfectionism. And then, I packed you up and brought you to Atlanta with me. Like a truly broken captor, I did so willingly, sure that I couldn't live without you. You and me? We'd become one. I was sure that trying to be perfect, like you'd taught me, made my life better. Why be good, when you can be the best? became our anthem.

But then, everything fell apart. One hot May night, my life crumbled in front of me. I'd been perfect, I cried to you. I'd tried to be as quiet, likable and as good as possible! 

But, I learned on that painful day, that as hard as I'd tried to be perfect, it didn't earn me more love. It didn't make me better or more whole. It didn't protect me from pain. It just made me hustle.

image via

It's been six years since that day in May. Six years, countless therapy sessions, a few failed boyfriends, a broken foot and hundreds of tears later and I'm still standing. And today, I'm saying goodbye to you.

Nowadays, when you tell me my house has to look perfect so our friends like me, I know you're lying. 
When you tell me I shouldn't take a day off from exercise - that my day isn't complete without it, I know you're lying. 
When you tell me eating dessert or carbs will make me instantly fat, I know you're lying. 

I know you lie, all the time, Perfectionism.

You taught me that standing in the ring with my head held high and arms in the air, like a gymnast after a perfect routine, was what I wanted. You taught me to perform like the whole world was watching from the stands, awaiting my perfect dismount. But now I know that being admired from afar isn't love. And standing out there in the middle of the ring, day after day, gets lonely. 

Now I know we don't have to perform for love.

Because love is being up close and messy with someone - letting them see your tears, your laughter and, best of all, when you're laughing through tears. Love isn't about being better or the best, it's about letting our guards down. Love is admitting you're not OK when you're not OK. Love is honest.

Love sees us through a magnifying glass. Perfection creates a mirage. 

I know today that I'd rather let someone see all my real stuff - the sticky, messy, crazy stuff - and feel deep love, than be a mirage, simply admired from afar, but never close enough to really touch. 

So today, I bid you farewell. I won't miss you or the anxiety you've brought me. My life is sweeter, fuller and more joyful without you. Does it look as perfect? Probably not. But I've learned that perfect wasn't really all you said it would be, anyway.

From afar,
Whitney 

On Trusting the Process

Tuesdays & Thursdays are Letter Project Days around here. This means I'm reading them, sorting them and bundling them to be sent out. Oftentimes, I'll be waiting on just one letter for an entire week before I send one of the bundles. When this happens, I start to worry. I worry that her letter is lost in the mail. Or that the writer forgot to send it. I start to wonder why I haven't created an emergency writer SWOT team who I can call on when I'm in a jam. 

And then, right as I'm about to SOS a friend, her letter always arrives. Always! The writers never forget! Every time it happens, I realize I could have saved myself a whole lot of worry if I'd just taken a deep breath and trusted the process. 

But then! A few weeks ago, a girl was missing THREE letters for a week. And then another week went by and I started to panic. I had to do something. I felt frustrated with myself for not taking action sooner, knowing this sweet girl's letters were going to be seriously delayed.  

I called on local friends to write and (they were amazing) and did it within 24 hours. As I bundled up her letters to drop in the mail, it hit me:

Life is like these letter bundles. We can trust the process.

Sometimes, it might seem like things aren't going to work out. Sometimes, we have to make quick decisions and change direction. Sometimes, we have to lean on the people we love a little more than expected. Sometimes, we'll wish we'd taken action sooner.

But, in the end, it will work out. It might look a little different than we expected. It might not happen as quickly as we wanted it to. But, it will work out.

If you're in the thick of it today, I wanted to remind you to keep trusting the process. Take a deep breath. Do the next best thing for the phase you're in. Keep inching forward. I believe in you.