An Anthem for Summer

I went bathing suit shopping recently. As I sifted through Target's swimsuit section, I noticed the other women around me. Each displayed varying degrees of disdain as they eyed the selection carefully. I would gauge their levels of excitement somewhere between mining for gold and snaking the shower drain; the majority hoping to find some buried treasure, but eager to have it over with as quickly as possible.

Do these bottoms seem teenier? Are the tops more triangular? Is it awkward that a middle schooler and I are in the same section? I wondered as I watched my fellow shoppers, their heads hanging low.

I was tempted to stand in the middle of the swimwear section and rally cry to the women around me: Hey guys! This kind of stinks but we're in it together. You only need one suit to look good. Keep digging!

I thought this might seem a little melodramatic, so I tried instead to just smile at the people around me, hoping I could convey my message of solidarity. Hang in there, girl!

It got me thinking about summer. This week marks the longest day of the year, which is a holiday in my book. More daylight! The best blueberries! Everything grilled! It's my favorite season.

But along with summer comes more skin; shorter than short shorts, strappier tank tops - not even our feet are spared. As I stood in the bright dressing room (btw, those lights are unflattering), I thought about how nice it would be if we all embraced our bodies for function over form this summer. What if we loved our legs because they let us go on long, humid runs and splash around in the lake? What if we loved our arms because they allow us play tennis and eat popsicles?

What if we didn't cling to our cover-ups like security blankets and instead ran free in the sun, enjoying every last minute of glorious daylight? What if we stood tall in our swimsuits, our heads held high because this is the body we were given and we know now to stop fighting it and, instead, embrace it? 

As we approach the first official day of summer, this is my anthem. Let us be brave enough to believe we were fearfully and wonderfully made. Let us trust that the way we look - in a swimsuit or a snowsuit - is good enough, beautiful enough, pleasing enough. Let us trust that we are enough and remember that you don't have to be small to be beautiful. 

Let us soak up every drop of summer sun, drink the last sip of rosé, laugh a little louder and be brave enough to do a cannonball, even if we'll make a big splash. Let us remember this season is meant to be enjoyed, not tolerated.

Do Differences Make You Incompatible?

At a glance, Chris and I seem really similar. Which is true, to an extent. We both love healthy eating, exercise and making a plan. :) At our cores, we have a ton of overlap. But, in our Venn Diagrams of life, there are areas where we really differ. For example...

Chris loves garlic. I can't stand it. 
Chris loves concerts. They're not really my jam. 
Chris loves playing on his computer at night. I want those laptops shut at 6 p.m. alwayyys. 
I love errands. Chris sure as heck doesn't. 
I love Target. Chris would rather go to the dentist. 
I love rearranging a room. Like so much. It's my favorite. He thinks of it as work. 
I love ice cream. Chris loves cookies. 
Chris loves red wine. I like white.
I need eight hours of sleep, Chris can rock five. 

You get the point! There are areas where we don't overlap (because we're people, not robots) and we have to liaise to keep an even keel. This balance creates moments of tension (pleaaaase go to Target with me at 8 p.m.!) and also creates an opportunity to love one another unselfishly. And marriage will teach you quickly that you are pretty selfish. 

What I'm learning is that it's OK to have things that are really different. It's really great to overlap on the big things, good to overlap on the medium things, and important to trust that where you don't overlap, you can spend time apart. For Chris, that means eating garlic, staying up late and watching sports on his computer when I'm out of town. For me, that means rearranging every room in the house and running to Target for just one more rug when my mom is visiting. 

It's about finding the rhythm that works for you as individuals and as a couple. It's about learning to value your sameness and respect one another's differences. It's about loving one another unselfishly and eating ice cream and cookies together. Because why not have the best of both worlds? 

Today I Believe...

That self-care should be a mandatory college course.

That the high schooler in me will always love jamming to radio hits with my windows down. (Hi, Miley!)

That you can read Brené Brown in the morning and Liane Moriarty in the evening and feel really good about it. 

That a good night's rest can typically solve all of my problems. Or at least a lot of them. 

That rearranging the apps on my phone is the digital equivalent to rearranging a room in my house. 

That perfect, summer weather calls for an extra iced coffee. 

That being friendly to strangers is an underrated mood lifter. 

That we should always seek adventure, but vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles need not be challenged. 

This post was inspired by Laura Marie Meyer's series. If you haven't read the Little Things and Curiosities blog before, I highly recommend it. She writes like a dream!

Are You Swept Up in Social Media?

Whenever I see people walking their dogs at night, I immediately find myself wishing for a dog. This is not a real desire because I’m not an animal person. (I know, I know.)

My sister and I always joke about a girl I saw in the park years ago. She was wearing bright red Toms, rocking a ponytail like a boss and walking her golden retriever. I mentioned her at least 10 times to my sister, wondering if I, too, needed a dog and red Toms. You remember the girl with the ponytail in the park? I’d say as I began the debate. Of course, she told me, though she wasn’t actually there.

Eventually, I caved. I bought red Toms.

Last week, it happened again. I saw a couple walking their dog, with the golden sun dancing behind them as they laughed at something their pup did. Should we get a dog to walk on these glorious summer nights? I wondered as I drove home.

No, because I wouldn’t want to walk it in the winter, I thought. Also, I would have to clean up its poop.

It hit me then: these moments, these drive by doggings, are kind of like social media. They give you a glimpse into what it’s like to have a dog, but they don’t really show the whole picture. They don’t show you the hard parts or the depth of the good parts. They’re just glimpses.

I have a tendency to allow negativity into my life when I spend too much time on social media. It happened recently, over Memorial Day weekend. We had an amazing day with friends at the pool. We grilled, we drank wine, we swam, we relaxed. It was lovely! But as I laid in bed that night, looking at Instagram, I found myself wondering if we should have gone to the beach. Or a lake? Or Greece?

Without even noticing it, I let little glimpses into other people’s lives dictate my feelings. Just like the girl with the ponytail and red Toms.

After a moment of scrolling, I stopped myself. You had an awesome weekend! Don’t let anyone else dictate your joy. As I laid there, I reminded myself that our lives are so much more than the snapshots we show on social media. There are highs and lows that, appropriately, stay behind closed doors. But if we aren’t careful, we can find ourselves chasing these snapshot moments, tortured by the girl with the red Toms.