Meet Erinn Bridgman! (+ a promo code)

Happy Monday, friends! I am so excited to start this week with another incredible female entrepreneur!  

Today's guest is Erinn Bridgman, who is basically a jack of all entrepreneurial trades! For starters, she and her husband run a photography and videography business (and their work is gorgeous!). 

She also owns Bridging Herstory, which is a platform to promote and support female business owners. Through it, she offers StrengthsFinder coaching and writes a blog. Also, today (!!), she is launching Bridgebox, which is a quarterly subscription box filled with seasonally inspired products. All made by female creative entrepreneurs.

I told ya, the girl is busy! 

If you'd like to order a Bridgebox, she's kindly offering 10% off for you lovely readers. Use the code: toloveourselvesBB10. Without further ado, meet the lovely Erinn!

All photos via Bridging Herstory and Erinn's Instagram.

1. Let's start with an easy one. What is your morning routine? How do you get the day going? Do you snooze? Do you drink coffee?

OK, I'm going to be honest here. I am not much of a morning person. I love working late at night. My goal is to get up by 8 a.m. - lots of snoozing happens! My husband and I both work from home in our different entrepreneurial endeavors, so we have a little competition in the mornings. Whoever gets out of bed last has to make it! It motivates me. :-)

I typically get ready, get some breakfast and brew a cup of coffee that I re-heat all day. If I'm not headed to some sort of meeting or networking event, I get to work in my beautiful office with the blinds way open so I get lots of good natural light! 

2. You have a thriving business that you launched pretty quickly. It seems like you have it all together when it comes to knowing what you want to do with your life. Has it always been that way?

OH my goodness noooooooo!! For as long as I have thought about my future, I have always known that I wanted to somehow use my life to help other people. That is very broad, and about all I knew. The journey that has gotten me here has not always been smooth and definitely not without unknowns and quite a bit of anxiety.

Also, while my photo + film business is thriving, it took many years of grinding and working another job before it was stable enough for me to enter into full-time entrepreneurship!

Now I get to pour my heart into Bridging Herstory, but a lot of weekends of working and hours of sales meetings went into getting me here. Bridging Herstory is just beginning and it's my new baby!! I love how it brings so many of my strengths and passions into one avenue. And I get to HELP women build their businesses, their confidence, and well-being! 

3. Now that you're in your 30s, if you could, what would you tell yourself at 22? What do you wish you'd known? 

AHHH how am I already 30?!? This just still blows my mind. But 30 is the new 20 right?! I would tell myself at 22 to relax and enjoy the journey. I cannot tell you how many hours I wasted fretting and worrying about my future. WAY TOO MANY! The beauty of life is that has this incredibly intricate way of unraveling in a way you could never have planned or imagined and it's perfect!! I'd tell myself to relax, be myself and let life lead you where it is meant to go. Oh, and also, work REALLY hard.

4. What was the most influential book you read in your 20s?

I'm going to be real. I'm not much of a reader, so if it wasn't required in college (and even that might be questionable) I didn't read books. Right now I am really into podcasts as a way to be growing and learning. I would recommend the Liturgists Podcast, The Creative Empire & the Goal Digger Podcast. Blinklist is also a great free app you can download to get a 15-minute synopsis of a great book each day!! 

5. What's the biggest misconception people may have about you from watching you on social media?

I think it would be easy to think my life/business is very glamorous and an instant success. LET ME TELL YOU! I am currently wearing no makeup and have been sitting at my desk most of the day working away. I'm not complaining. My life and job is extremely meaningful and beautiful, but its not always rainbows and butterflies! :-)

6. For so many of us, our 20s can be one big comparison trap. How did you keep yourself from constant comparison? The internet makes it so hard! 

My husband is literally the best and always reminds me that comparison is the thief of joy. On my best days, I look at others and, instead of getting jealous and competitive, I celebrate their successes and admire what they are doing. I might even reach out to them to learn a thing or two!

On my worst days, though, I really struggle and get frustrated that my Instagram following is low, etc. I look to my community to ground me and hold me accountable on those harder days.

7. What do you consider play? And! What are your creative outlets?

My work is very creative. Doing photography, styling, blogging, designing the Bridgebox. I find a lot of joy and energy in creating in those spaces. Outside of work I love to thrift, decorate my home, bake and cook. These are such therapeutic outlets for me. One of my life mottos is to work hard and play hard. Sometimes I put in really long days, but I always make time for fun! I love to travel, shop, ride my bike down the Monon in Indianapolis, try new restaurants and be with my FRIENDS!!! 

Super Simple Pasta with Pumpkin Sauce (gf)

Last Wednesday I shared a recipe on Instagram and have never gotten so much feedback from a story. People love food, y'all! I thought I'd share the dish here - it's the perfect hearty, healthy, autumnal dish. 

I was inspired by this Paleo Hacks recipe, though I made a lot of changes to it because her sauce was trending sweet and I like mine spicyyyyyy.

Pasta with Pumpkin Sauce (gf)

Ingredients:

  •  1 T extra virgin olive oil
  •  I small white onion, chopped
  •  1 cup pumpkin purée
  • 1.5 to 2 cups unsweetened almond milk (adjust for consistency - should be sauce-like)
  •  2 T tomato paste
  •  1/2 t sea salt (adjust to preference)
  • 1/2 t black pepper (adjust to preference)
  • 1/2 t cayenne (adjust to preference)
  • 1/4 t Pepperman (or any all purpose seasoning blend of your choosing)
  • Pasta of your choice (we used this Edamame & Mung Bean Fettucine and it was delicious) 
  • Fresh, chopped basil (optional)
  • Fresh parm (optional)
  • Spinach (optional)

To make:

  • Heat olive oil over medium heat in saucepan and add chopped onion. Sauté until onions are soft.
  • Add pumpkin purée, almond milk, tomato paste and all spices.
  • Let cook on low heat.
  • Begin boiling a large pot of water for pasta. Once boiling, add pasta, salt and pepper so noodles absorb the flavor. Boil until al dente (7 - 8 minutes for bean noodles) or until they are the texture you like.
  • While pasta cooks, be sure to continue stirring the sauce. Turn to a simmer if it has begun boiling. If it has gotten too thick as it has cooked, add more almond milk. 
  • Once the pasta is finished, drain in a colander. Remove the sauce from the heat.
  • Serve the sauce over pasta. Add basil, parmesan, spinach or (if you're like us!) chicken meatballs (which we bought pre-cooked and simply heated up!). 
  • Enjoy!

Sex is Good

Before reading this post, please take a moment to note:

  • In my belief, these views apply to sex in a healthy, married relationship.
  • If you have been a victim of sexual assault, abuse or pain, I, by no means, and implying that those experiences should be looked at through this lens. You didn't deserve what happened to you and it is not your fault. 

In seventh grade, I went to a weekend retreat with my church. On Saturday afternoon, the keynote speaker opened her presentation with this: "Sex is gooooooooooood!" She had every single seventh and eighth grade kid in the room either blushing or laughing instantly. She went on to talk about the beauty of sex in a healthy, married relationship.

But then what happened? We left the retreat and I never heard sex talked about in this capacity at church again. I heard stories of abstinence and waiting, but none of its pure beauty and joy. 

One of my long term goals as I continue to work with women is to change the way Christians are talking about sex.

The truth is, it's not just the middle schoolers who need to talk about it differently. For so many women, by the time we reach adulthood, we have a lot of shame around sex. As more and more people share about the assault they have experienced, it is evident that sex, which is meant for glory, is so often used to inflict pain. 

Even for those who haven't experienced sexual trauma, it can carry a lot of heartache and shame. Many women I know struggle with similar feelings around sex:

  • Difficulty letting go of past choices they made, when the message of abstinence was pushed so hard.
  • Not enjoying it and feeling like it's an obligation to their husbands. 
  • Body shame; feeling fat or unattractive. 

These are just a few of the barriers that keep us quiet, but there is no reason to feel embarrassed about struggles with intimacy. The majority of couples, no matter how strong their marriage, will have highs and lows in their sex life. Obviously, it's incredibly intimate and delicate and I'm a huge believer that we should only share what we (+ our partners) are comfortable sharing. But, when we struggle silently, we begin to live in silos, convincing ourselves we're the only ones who have challenges. This is a lie satan uses to keep us from speaking up. 

One of my hopes is to shed light and give greater voice to the topic of sex. If the subject remains taboo, we don't create room for healing. The only way to force the darkness out of a situation is to shine light on it. 

Something I realized with Chris is that sex is an actual gift from God. It's a connection tool, a communication tool and a way to draw near to one another. I'd never known this about sex because, in the past, I had not experienced it in a healthy, whole relationship. What I learned is that, when you are in a healthy place in life, sex can help heal the remaining soft spots around old wounds. It can be a spiritual experience between the two of you. 

Yes, sex is lovely. But, here's what else I want you to know: 

It's OK if you don't want to do it all the time. 

And you know what else?

It's OK If HE doesn't want to do it all the time.

Women are so often taught abstinence (say no), while men are taught the idea of restraint (respect her no), which has created a culture where we feel the decision is always on us, as females. But, men don't always want sex either. There is no shame in initiating sex, as a female, and being turned down. Don't buy into the lie that men are always in the mood - they get tired, stressed and feel bloated sometimes, too. 

And finally?

Sometimes, you've just got to do it, even when you aren't 100 percent in the mood. 

Sometimes you need the connection. Sometimes, you're a little bit at each other's throats and it's time to release physical tension. Sometimes you're both sad and there aren't enough words to cover the way you feel.

Sex is a connection tool and a communication tool. It can bridge space between us like almost nothing else can. 

Without sharing too much about our personal sex life, I did want to share a few tips that we deploy from time to time: 

  1. Schedule it! Plan ahead so you can get in bed early, wake up early or set aside a few minutes before your date. If it makes you feel good about your body, wear your good bra and underwear. People always laugh when I tell them we schedule sex when we're really busy, but it helps guarantee you're making the activity and connection a priority. 
  2. Make a playlist. Sometimes, it's hard to get yourself in the right mindset. Create a playlist for setting the mood and reserve it only for intimate activities. Sort of Pavlovian, I realize, but don't knock it till you try it.
  3. Set expectations. Talk about how often you both expect to and would enjoy having sex. Before we got married, we both shared how often we thought we'd partake. It's a number you can always adjust and recommunicate as life goes on, but it helps set a healthy baseline.
  4. Talk about it! Create safe space for intimate conversation early. What do you like? What isn't working for you? What is OK to share with your friends about your sex life? What needs to stay between the two of you? Every single person is different and it's unfair to yourselves, and each other, not to be honest about your desires and expectations. 

You might find this post embarrassing, or, perhaps, think I should feel embarrassed. That's OK! Sex is super delicate and intimate and it's great to know your boundaries. But I'd encourage you to find ways to create safe spaces in your life to think about and, if you'd like, discuss the topic, because, in and of itself, is not embarrassing or shameful. 

If this is a topic that interests you, I highly recommend Matt & Lauren Chandler's Mingling of Souls on-demand conference. Chris and I watched it before our wedding and found their honest dialogue around sex to facilitate a safe space for us to have a similar conversation. I've heard the the book is similar, but haven't read it - and, honestly, really enjoyed Lauren's perspective.