On Comfort Zones & Self Care

I recently spent a week in Indiana. It was just two weeks after moving to Virginia and saying goodbye to Chris. After spending 14 days in a new state, where the majority of the faces and places are unfamiliar, my brain was overloaded by the familiarity of my hometown. 

One morning, I visited the park where I ran cross country for seven years. I set out to run the old high school loop, sure I'd remember the route. As I pounded down the ramp into the park, I couldn't believe how weathered it was. I remember when the bridge wasn't in existence -  just a big hill we'd climb. Now the ramp looks to be a few years shy of replacement.

As I ran the trail, I noticed how familiar it was; the creek still runs alongside the dirt path, the same deep tree roots threaten to catch your foot if you aren't careful. I was overwhelmed by the comfort and safety of a familiar place - of home. 

Throughout the week, I ran into childhood friends and ate at my old favorite restaurants. I drove down the same streets that I'd walked and run down hundreds of times as a child. The sweet houses had been updated, but felt familiar. The big Oak trees still begged to be climbed. 

I noticed how good it felt to be home. The familiarity was soothing and put me at ease.

As I went throughout the week, I realized how important it is for us to know what puts our souls at ease. Recognizing how and when to find comfort is one of the greatest ways we can practice self-care. It shows maturity and self-respect when we take steps to put it into place. 

I believe, deeply, in getting outside of our familiar spaces. I am confident in our move to Virginia and certain that, in a few months, it won't feel unfamiliar. I don't believe we are meant to stay within our comfort zones forever, no matter how comfortable they are. The things that challenge us change us and I'm so grateful to begin this new season of growth.

As we continue to make Virginia home over the coming months, I'm grateful to be reminded that, on the days when the unfamiliar feels overwhelming, a little self-care goes a long way. And when you really need a dose of familiar, you can always, always return home. 

You Are Never a Failure

Guys,

I fell off the blog wagon (the blagon?). Life got so busy between our move, The Day of the Girl events and fundraiser and so many other things, I just stopped blogging. I haven't missed a day since I quit my job (even while we were in Kenya!) and, as the first day went by, I felt like a total failure. Each day passed and it kept feeling more and more impossible to pull a post together. 

The entire experience reminded me of three things:

  • You (a human) are never a failure. Even on the days when it feels like we're failing at everything, we are whole. We are alive. We are worthy of the space we take up on this earth. Our output does not dictate our worth - whether it's blogging, our job, exercise, what we eat, etc. We are worthy of love and belonging on good days and horrible days and all of the days in between.
  • Grace is everything. So, today you didn't do what you said you'd do? Your to do list is 100 miles long and you can't get a handle on it? That's OK. Take a deep breath. Trust that you are doing your very best. Organize your purse. Make a plan for tomorrow. Let today be enough. Make like Elsa and let it go.
  • You can always begin again. So you haven't blogged in a month? Or exercised in a year? You haven't called your old best friend and now the days that have passed feel like an insurmountable cavern? They're not. Take a baby step. Write a short post. Go for a one mile run. Send her a text to tell her you miss her. Take the little step that will help you begin the long journey ahead.

Amid my very own mess and chaos,
Whitney 

On House Calls from Life & Fiery Souls

Today's post is from one of my amazing summer interns, Kimmy Crickette. I like to think of her as my frientern more than my intern, though. She is wise beyond her years and I'm so excited to you to hear her perspective on life. Enjoy!

Like most people, I’ve lived all my life with a story in my mind that ran the show. It weighed me down, terrorized me and froze me. If you find your passion and be perfect and make everyone love you, you can be happy forever. Ah, how simple, of course! I just must not be trying hard enough. How many times have we told ourselves this?

It took crippling bouts of anxiety, depressing and a spectrum of eating disorders to open my eyes. These heartaches and challenges shaped an idea in me, though.

I believe that life makes house calls in our lives, either through grief, pain, discovery, transition, or transformation (whether chosen or not), and that it is up to us to decide whether we will welcome life in as a visitor. After hearing what life has to say, we must then choose whether we will join in on the adventure or instead choose to show life to the door. When we follow life, we will emerge on the other side changed, sometimes subtly, sometimes in enormous ways, but always armed with new information and awareness.

If we instead refuse, we will spend our whole lives bracing against the door, fighting to keep life out. Depression, anger, resentment, or any other host of ailments are often consequences until we finally change our approach...Talking with others has made me realize that anyone who has undergone a life or spiritual transformation knows this to be true. Their pain always proved to be the symptom, the catalyst for some sort of enlightening change.

This process can be anxious, it can be frightening, it can be sad (trust me, I have felt all of these deeply), but it can also be exhilarating. We can fine tune our abilities to distinguish between the call of our intuition and our ego, and act in accordance with our intuition, because it will never guide us astray. Our ego speaks with a rigid, strong voice, while our intuition creeps in softly, and makes us feel open and expansive. It may not lead us in the direction we think we must go or the direction that fits our plan, but ultimately, we will find ourselves in the place we were meant to be.

Opening up to these things has allowed me to break out of the fearful neighborhoods of my mind and uncover big interests and little everyday things that really light my soul on fire–snorkeling, painting, snorting with friends over drinks in a cozy room, vacuuming out my car (hah, no, wishful thinking). When I move into these fearful neighborhoods, I become blocked and feel stuck and empty; even today, that’s one of my warning signals. Expansion and light moves away, and that’s no way to live a vibrant, meaningful life. Learning this truth and tuning in has made me feel even more deeply--both the joys and the pains--but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In moments when it feels impossible, someone I look up to once told me to picture myself as a little girl and fight to make each decision one that would best take care of her, and that’s been some darn good advice.

This is not to say that from here on out will be smooth sailing and that I have magically discovered the elixir for perfect happiness because life is constantly fluctuating, and everything has its ebbs and flows. But not even hurricanes and earthquakes will be able to take away these new guiding understandings.