when did stable become boring?

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I talk a lot about the chaos that are our 20s. How everything is constantly changing and nothing remains the same. How we're all trying to figure stuff out learn who we are. How each day can feel completely different from the one before it.

But what happens when things begin to level out? What happens when we feel emotionally stable? Financially [more] independent? Happy in our jobs? Planning to make no changes for a little while? Not moving to a new city? Not moving to a new house? When the wedding is over and we're married with nothing to plan?

When our only job is to just be?

I notice when this happens for me, I have a tendency to create more chaos.

Maybe I should switch jobs?

Move?

Join a new organization?

Emotionally invest in something that will make life crazier? 

As someone who was once in a very tumultuous relationship, with lots of highs and lows, I know that you can get addicted to those highs and lows. After breaking up with a guy I dated many years with lots of break ups and begin agains and this isn't workings to I love yous, I quickly found that emotionally stable relationships left me feeling bored. I looked for trouble; I wanted to create chaos.

And I think this same theory applies to our lives. When things are too easy - or rather, too normal -  we get a little bored. I think we even tend to make life changes, sometimes, simply because we're bored. Do you really want to go back to school? Or is your job just a little too easy right now? Are you really upset about what he said? Or are things just too smooth sailing in your relationship? Do you really want to lead that committee? Or do you just have a handle on everything else you're doing right now?

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We do it because everyone else is moving at different paces. Just when your life begins to level out, one of your friends get a new job. And suddenly, you're restless in yours. And then there are weddings and babies and new homes being purchased. And suddenly your stable life doesn't feel so exciting anymore. 

But that doesn't mean we should create chaos in our lives. In fact, I think it can be the sweetest time of all. It's the chance to invest energy not into figuring things out, but instead into going deeper. Deeper into friendships. Or deeper into things outside of work, because we finally have a handle on work. Deeper into things that mean something to us and help us develop who we want to be and where we want to go. We finally have the chance to take a deep breath and create accord from the chaos. 

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A wise friend once told me: I have a lot of things to worry about in my life. I don't want my marriage to be one of them. I want my marriage to be stable - I want it to be the rock I lean on when everything else gets chaotic.

And it turns out that she's right. I don't want my relationships to stress me out when they don't need to. And I don't want my life to be chaotic when it doesn't need to be. There will be time for highs and there will be time for lows. But maybe right now is just about being still. 

virginia weekend snaps

An overnight train ride to Virginia.

On which I snuck some wine + OJ.

And made some friends.

Then coffee in Viriginia with this girl.

And a birthday celebration for big seven-year-old-Lily. 

An snuggle time with all these cute kids.

And not enough time there.

And too soon back on the train.

To a productive, sunny Sunday. With gluten free mini ice cream sammies I made for the Super Bowl.

Which helped ease the pain of my separation anxiety from Court and her family. 

Until next time, VA. I miss you! 

there's rest. and then there's good rest.

anyone have an image source?

On Monday, I went to work feeling like I needed another weekend. Last weekend was a total whirlwind of good and great things, but it left me feeling depleted. I started the week exhausted and fearful for the week ahead. I was busy at work. I was getting ready to travel. I didn't know when I'd get my workouts in. I had no food and no time to go to the grocery. I was feeling stressed by stressors I'd created on my own.

And then the snow came. And ice. And Atlanta was paralyzed.

And suddenly I found myself house-bound for two full days. 

But instead of feeling like my usual self, I felt energy low. I had an entire day at home, but didn't feel like packing for my trip, working out, baking or doing much else besides cleaning out my inbox and going for a walk around the neighborhood. I didn't feel like myself.

And I felt guilty. 

Like I should have used the time to organize something that didn't need reorganization. Or do a killer three-hour workout. Or at least pack for the weekend.

But I didn't do those things. I relaxed. I hung up our freshly washed shower curtain. I blogged. I replied to emails. I strolled around the neighborhood. And that was all. 

And that was enough.

All too often I let being productive define who I am. I let it give me worth. I let it make me feel like I am worth space on this earth because I earned this space. I organized something, gosh darnit! I did a hard workout. Doesn't that make me worth this little plot of land?

It doesn't. It makes me productive, yes. And it makes me a good employee. And a good volunteer. And it makes me have an organized closet. And those are good things. 

But sometimes it makes me tired. And I've noticed that even though I've tried to pare down my calendar, I was still feeling tired and overwhelmed. Like I was drowning. Because I wasn't using my free time to slow down. I wasn't allowing myself to just be. 

So on our snow day yesterday, I practiced just being. I was uncomfortable. I was anxious about not working out. I was anxious about not organizing under my bed (yes, I said it.). So I read Robyn's post on rest for a reminder. And then, I relaxed. Took some deep (grounding, sanity-inducing) breaths. Sipped coffee. Went for a walk. Stole a yard sign to go sledding with Melly and Chris. Made nachos and margs and cookies.

  

And realized it was just what my body needed. There will be time for a good, sweaty workout tomorrow. There will be time to run around like a crazy person. There will be time for all of these things.

But yesterday? Yesterday was for resting. And it was good. 

hip hap wednesday // with a free workout code

Happy Wednesday my friends. Here's what's making me want to high five all around the town:

1. Tomorrow I head to Virginia for sweet Lily's seventh birthday. I don't know when this happened, because it feels like just yesterday that she was here:

and now she's here:

How did it happen? 

2. I love a good workout class (obviously.) but must admit that sometimes, I just want to get in a quick workout at home. Sans fighting traffic. And sans spending money. I read about Booya Fitness on Pumps & Iron last week and was immediately hooked. Booya allows you to stream workout videos from the industry's most challenging boutique gyms and instructors. They have yoga, cardio, strength & toning, bootcamp, quiet workouts for those early mornings and more. It's $9.99 a month, but you can try it free for a month with promo code: 

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A month of free workouts! That's a way to feel good on Wednesday! I love that the site tracks how many workouts you've done. It's so fun to see. I'm pumped to try it this weekend with Courtney.

FYI: You will be asked for billing but won't be charged for the first month.

3. This video is money. Let's get happy.

4. This weekend is February, which means we are touching the month that brings us spring. March! Yaay. 

5. I love this post about eating clean vs. eating junk food. Food is not good or bad. It's just food. 

6. And last but certainly not least, yesterday Ashley welcomed another sweet baby boy into her family! I love him already and cannot wait to meet him next week.

Happy day!