how i'm feeling today

Loving: This mermaid braid tutorial from Cup of Jo. I normally dislike hair tutorials because they position themselves as simple and are then way hard (for me), but this one is my jam! It was so easy and who doesn't want an Elsa braid? It's perfect for days when I don't want to wash my hair, but still want to look pulled together.

To prove how easy it was, I tried the braid and documented it for you. Although you can't really tell that this is a double braid from my pic, I promise it is. And it took about 30 seconds. Baddabing!

Eating: At the recommendation of my brothers, I switched my overnight oats to steel cut instead of rolled. Holy moly! They're so much better! They taste like grape nuts. Here's how I make them:

Ingredients:
1/2 cup steel-cut oats
1/2 cup almond milk
1 tablespoon chia seeds
Cinnamon to taste
2 tablespoons collagen (optional and will not impact taste)

To make:
1. Mix all four ingredients in a glass jar.
2. Stir well.
3. Store overnight, covered in fridge

The next day, I top mine with Sun Butter and blueberries. And voila!

Thinking about: This Elite Daily read: How Your Personality Type Predicts What Your Dream Job Will Be. I'm a huge fan of Myers-Briggs. I'm an ENFJ and mine was spot on! Dream on, dreamers.

Inspired by: Another Elite Daily read (I swear they aren't paying me for this!): 50 I Don’ts You Should Agree On Before You Say ‘I Do’. I don't agree with everything they say, but I love the idea behind it.

Intrigued by: The  Iron You's Cauliflower Crust Grilled Cheese. I haven't had a grilled cheese in a minute! I'll be sure to report back in November when I'm craving comfort food. I reckon this will be making an appearance.

Happy Wednesday amigos! 

The Greatest Lessons from my 20s {part 3)

This post is part of a five-week series, The Biggest Lessons from my 20s. During the five weeks leading up to my 29th birthday, I'll be discussing the greatest lessons this decade has taught me. Read the most recent post, which is To Believe this is Not an Economy of Scarcity here.  

Last week, I sent my discipleship group back to school for the year. We wrapped up our summer together with dinner at my house, talking about the year ahead - what they were excited about, nervous for and most ready to do.

The evening got me thinking about how, without them having been assigned to my group, I'm not sure I ever would have met them. They're seven+ years my junior and in completely different walks of life than me. But, we connected deeply and quickly - proving to ourselves that age and background don't necessarily mean as much as we might think when it comes to friendships.

I've reflected a lot on friendships this year and have especially focused on growing deeper in them this summer. I have a tendency to hold on tightly to every relationship I create. In college, I yearned for my high school friendships to stay the same. After college, I did my best to keep every friendship in tact - vowing that time and distance wouldn't force us to grow apart, but instead, closer together.

As I've gotten older, though, I've begun to finally understand that relationships change. And it's OK. This has been, easily, one of the greatest lessons of my 20s.

I have finally begun to understand that it's OK when friendships change and the best thing we can do is let go of the ones that aren't good for us and hold on tightly to the ones that are. 

Only we can control who is in our lives. If people are toxic or, sometimes harder to recognize, just not the type of person that brings joy to your life, it's OK to allow them to lift out. We spend a lot of time and energy cultivating our relationships and it's important that we are selecting to invest in things that are life giving.

If a relationship zaps your energy, constantly frustrates you or brings you hurt in any way, let it go. If it energizes you, brings you joy and is life giving, hold on to it with all your might. 

Only you can control who you let into your life. Give yourself permission to seek, give and live good love. In the end, it's the the most important investment we make.

Five Facts from a Guy #11 {about dating}

Happiest of Fridays, readerfriends! Today's Five Facts from a Guy comes from my old friend, Ben. He and I go way back to middle school and high school, but he moved to Atlanta a few years ago for his medical residency. We've become good friends again since then!

Ben and I often have different perspectives on things, so I was excited to hear his view on the early days of dating. Below he shares shares the wisdom he's learned from his days on the scene. Enjoy!

And, in case you've missed them, catch up on the previous Five Facts from a Guy posts.

1.  The guy you are dating, without a doubt, thinks you are beautiful.  Own it!  Stop worrying about your height, weight, makeup, and clothes because guys don't really care about those things! Believe me you look just as good in a sundress as you do in jeans and a t-shirt (or wearing pajamas with wet hair for that matter).  Dress the way you like and the way that makes you feel good.  And if you don't feel good about your body (we have all been there), carpe diem! Take charge of your body and happiness. Guys find confidence most attractive, so do the things you need to do to feel that way.

2.  Time apart is good for both of us. This is a recurring theme among the Five Facts from a Guy posts. That is because it is really important.  Maintain your friendships and keep doing the activities that made me interested in you in the first place.  I'll go on run or hang with my friends in the meantime.  And please don't cancel plans with your friends and family to spend time with a significant other watching Breaking Bad.  Your other relationships will dwindle and you will begin to feel desperate to spend time with your significant other.

3. An inability to detach from your phone irritates us. I know I'm 30 going on 53 on this one, but please detach from your smartphone, your smartwatch, and the rest of your smartdevices for just a couple of hours so that we can enjoy the wine and tapas.  I get it, you have a very active twitter account, instagram account, snapchat account, pinterest account, facebook account, and you have gotten 10 texts from your girlfriends plus two work-related emails. We are interested in spending quality time with you and it annoys us to look across the table at someone that is completely disengaged.

4. You hold the trump card of physical intimacy! So ladies, don't give it up on the first date! Every guy wants to get physical. It's how we are wired. You'll save a lot of heartache to wait until you are in a committed relationship. Hold out until you have the level of commitment you want and you'll quickly find out if he is interested in you and being an important part of your life.  It may sound crazy but soon enough it will be him bringing up the DTR talk (defining the relationship).

5.  There are good guys out there. You never know where you can meet somebody. Maybe online, maybe at the grocery store. So don't sweat it  if your relationships don't play out as you expected.  If you are honest and true to yourself, you'll find the guy you are looking for.

we are engaged!! :)

I couldn’t be more thrilled to share with you all that Chris asked me to marry him on Saturday night. We are both overjoyed with the news! I'm so excited to share it with all of you wonderful readers! You have seen me through heartache, good and bad relationships and the very beginning with Chris.

I'm so grateful for your sweet emails and comments throughout our relationship and am so glad you have been part of our story as readers! The blogosphere is a weird place. I recently did a coaching call with someone from another country and at the start of the session, she said, “how is Chris?” I thought: someone in another country that I have never met is asking me about Chris. How wild! And, also, how wonderful – that I feel so cared for in this little corner of the internet.

So, before I share how it happened, I wanted to thank you all for your support of us as a couple!

//

Months ago, Chris asked me what my perfect Atlanta day would be. I told him I’d want to do a super hard workout class with him + my brothers, then go to a good brunch. After that, I wanted to spend the day at the pool with friends, then go on a date with him.

Saturday, Chris sneakily put these plans in motion without me discovering how intentional it was. I thought my brothers decided on a whim to attend the class and brunch with us, but little did I know it was all pre-planned.

After a wonderful day with friends & family, Chris picked me up for dinner. We drove to one of my favorite honey holes in the city, Lullwater, to go on a walk before dinner. We walked for a little while, Moscow Mules in tow, when I suggested we turn around so we could get to the restaurant before we got too hungry. But he told me he wanted to walk a little further.

About a minute later, we turned a corner and I saw a sweet picnic set up by the water. He’d enlisted my brothers’ help to set up the dinner and I was completely shocked! They’d all been in on the plan all day to have our dinner el fresco and had snuck out of our house to set it up while I got ready.

I was so happy! But had no clue he was going to propose.

After dinner, we headed to his house for a dessert he’d made. While in the woods, we got REALLY hot as the nighttime humidity rose. We were also by the water, so we got eaten by the bugs. Normally, I want to eat every meal outside, but, with the bugs being so bad, I told him I wanted to eat inside. Unusually assertive, Chris insisted we sit outside on the roof for dessert. I was surprised he was so opinionated about it, but didn’t really think twice.

When we climbed on the roof, he’d set up another picnic blanket – surrounded by candles. And yet, I still had no clue he was going to propose. I said, “wow this is a fancy date!” and didn’t think anything of it!

Chris brought up dessert, which was an ice cream sundae bar. He knows ice cream is my favorite food, of course!, and had done this for our first Valentine’s Day together. He walked me through the options for toppings and then said he had spoons in his pocket. He pulled out the spoon for me, and it had a ribbon around it. I looked at the ribbon and noticed there was a ring tied to the spoon, which said will you marry me?

I was in a state of shock! I kept asking him over and over if he was serious. And then I said yes!

We went inside after that to eat the ice cream and drink champagne. Chris gave me a stack of cards, on which he’d written firsts from our relationship – the first time he knew he wanted to ask me on a date, the first time he knew he liked me, the first time he knew he loved me, etc. After about fifteen firsts, I got to the last one, which was the first time he knew he wanted to marry me.

The entire day and night felt magical and I’m still on cloud nine. I am excited beyond words to start this new chapter with Chris. I just keep thinking I’m so excited to brush our teeth together at night and take road trips and come home to each other at the end of the workday. It sounds silly to be craving those mundane things but, the truth is, those are my favorite things to do with him – the every day.

My entire being just feels so grateful. For the way people have shared in our joy during the last few days and celebrated with us. I also feel so grateful for how God has blessed our relationship during the last year and half. I prayed for my husband long before I met Chris and I'm overwhelmed by how faithful the Lord has been. Chris is a better man than I could have imagined marrying and I'm honored to call him my fiance today.

Thank you again for sharing in our joy! :) Happy Wednesday!