friday feelings

February 5, 2016 Whitney Saxon

Happy Friday! Here's what I'm feeling today:

Ready for: Core Power Yoga tomorrow with Chris, followed by Cafe Jonah almond milk lattes. Jonah is closing its doors, so we're giving it a niiiice sendoff. Extra large, please!

Wanting to share: This Greatist article about why running doesn't always burn fat. (I hear this!)

Wondering if: I should sign up for some kind of race. Another Tough Mudder or Triathlon, possibly? Feeling like I want something new to train for (but, of course, while still maintaining a healthy relationship with exercise! It's a careful balance for me, always).

Eager to: Try Press & Grind! A new coffee shop near my house. Yaay! I guess this weekend calls for two coffee stops.

Wanting to celebrate: The fact that it is a LEAP year! It's been a while and I think we should celebrate it.

Excited about: Going to Joy Stick game bar for the first time this weekend with friends.

Counting down: To March 4, when my mom and sisters arrive in ATL for a wedding planning weekend. YAAY!

When Life is Unexpected

February 3, 2016 Whitney Saxon

My sweet friend Stacy is doing the calligraphy for our wedding invitations and recently came over to show me a handful of options. We sat on my dining room floor, shuffling between 20 different styles she'd created, trying to determine our favorites.

I laughed as I went to get our invitations from my room - they were sitting in a beat up box, on a shelf in the back of my closet. When you think about glamorous wedding invitations - the beautiful paper, calligraphy and stamps - you don't exactly envision them collecting dust in the back of someone's little Virginia-Highland rental.

I told Stacy that this has been one of the most unexpected parts of wedding planning. In my baby dreams, on some level, I thought that my life would pause when I got engaged. I didn't think about the fact that I'd still have a job, a lot of stuff to do and the normal highs and lows of life. I thought about the glamour of dress shopping, selecting the band and the pretty flowers. I thought about the rings and cake and dancing.

But, as we've planned during the last five months, I've come to realize that wedding planning is about so much more than planning a wedding. Chris and I have grown deeper in our relationship with one another and with the Lord. We've had amazing conversations in premarital counseling, overturning parts of our pasts we've never touched with anyone else. We've learned to rely on one another in a new way. I feel God working between us, drawing us closer and guiding us.

Last week, we went to dinner on a ScoutMob Sun in My Belly deal. We ordered a glass of wine, chatted with the two elderly women on the bench next to us and then got down to business writing on the paper table cloth. What did we want our lives to look like in 10 years? And 5? How about 2? We wrote down baseline needs, smallest wishes and biggest dreams.

In that moment I thought that if I had a little journal where I wrote down happy memories between Chris and me (which, I should!), I would write this one down. Because, like wedding planning, sometimes you think things are going to be more glamorous than they really are. But, when it comes down to it, you're mapping out your life with a 50 percent off coupon and the pen you snagged when the couple next to you paid their check. It might not be quite as fancy or perfect as you anticipated, but it turns out to be better.

The moment reminded to keep my hands open during this season. It can be so easy to white knuckle the plans we had for our lives - refusing to relinquish control. But, the more I allow myself to kill those dreams to make room for new ones, the more I realize there was a better plan for me all along. My expectations might have looked different for 29, or wedding planning, or living in Atlanta or my job (or any area of life), but the more I make room for God to move, the more I'm overcome with joy and gratitude.

oh, hello!

February 1, 2016 Whitney Saxon

Happy February, friends!

I wanted to do a little check with life updates.

At the start of the year, I told you I was going to do themed months this year. Well, that has changed. :) It was part of a blogger challenge to try to grow your brand and connect with your audience. But, said challenge was not for me. I felt too confined and creatively stifled. I'm glad I tried it and glad to be free flowing again.

The truth is, I've never kept up with trends as well as I could as the blogosphere has evolved - I know it could be much more of a business if I marketed better and tracked my analytics. But, one of my themes this year is respecting myself enough to set boundaries. And, my blog needs to continue to be something I simply do for fun to fit into this season of life.

So, I'm just going to keep on blogging to blog and enjoying my little corner of the internet. :)

In other news, my a-ma-zi-ng sisters threw me a bachelorette party on Anna Maria Island a few weeks ago. I had an incredible time with my dear friends. The weather was unusually cold, which meant we spent a lot of time heart to hearting as we bundled up in Turkish towels, drank coffee and chased the ray of sun as it danced around our back porch. In other words, it was the perfect weekend. I'm honored to my core they all made the effort to travel to celebrate as Chris and I prepare for marriage.

Speaking of which, wedding planning is going swimmingly. I can't believe we are less than 4 months away! We are currently trying to select reception chairs and a cake. Essentially: where shall you sit and what shall you eat when you take a break from dancing? We're also working on our first dance, which is muuuch easier for Chris than me - my dance skills aren't exactly my greatest strength.

To sign off, a few things I'm loving lately:

Itching to try this vegan white chocolate smoothie
This swimmie + this bag are making me yearrrn for spring (as if I wasn't already)
This post from Life of Charmings made me happy. It's the little things!
I'm finishing the book Orange is the New Black and have loved it. The show wasn't for me but the book has been a great read. I've learn so much!

That's all for now! Happy February!

How to Find Your Calling

January 27, 2016 Whitney Saxon

Lately it feels like 27 to 30 is a hotbed of soul searching. So many people I know are deeply questioning their jobs, callings and passions. Friends who loved their jobs at 24 are wondering why they're still in them at 28; slightly panicked that so many years have transpired in what feels like the blink of an eye.

I recently had coffee with an old friend who switched jobs this month. Last summer, we'd talked a lot about her passion - what was it? How could she find it? Not only did she switch jobs this month, but also entire industries. How was she so brave? How did she figure out what step to take?

It seems the hardest part is not finding jobs that are available, but knowing which ones will make you happy. And, the nagging question: is the grass really greener? After all, you have flexibility or comfort or a steady paycheck or, at the very least, know how to do your job well - should you just stay put?

As someone who spent most of 2014 and part of 2015 digging deep into my soul, wondering what my calling could possibly be, here are a few questions that helped me figure out where to begin:

1. What is your currency of value?

A personal currency of value is something that is important, valuable and worth pursuing in your opinion. Here are a few examples of currencies of value:

To have financial stability
To be helpful
To serve others
To make people laugh or happier
To be considered an authority on a topic
To help people get healthier
To be in charge
To protect
To heal people

For a long time, I felt kind of embarrassed that I would volunteer with any charity. I felt some shame because it didn't seem like any one particular charity was speaking to me - I sort of just bee bopped around, taking board positions at CHOA to leading groups with YoBoulevard and all sorts of spots in between. Why didn't I have a cause I cared about more? One I wanted to fight for and go all in on? Was I being shallow and noncommittal?

When I determined my currencies of value, I realized I love to lead projects that I think are helping people. So my currencies of value are to be in charge and to help others.

Take a minute - think about what lights you up. When do you feel so excited to work on something because you care so much about the end result? If you think about people who are thriving in their jobs, they likely know and are fulfilling their currencies of value.

It's important to note a few things here:

If someone doesn't share your currency of value, it's almost impossible to get them to value it. These are inherent by the time we are adults - either by nature or nurture, they're things we can't help but care about.
It's important not to apologize for your currencies of value. A friend of mine told me she felt guilty that she values money. But, she often grew up without much money and wants to make sure that someday her kids don't feel that way. Not acknowledging what we value won't make it go away - instead it will be that nagging ex-boyfriend that texts you on Saturday nights. I'm still here!
If you feel like you value something that isn't healthy for you, don't ignore it, but instead acknowledge it and figure out why. Was there something missing in your childhood? Or something you feel like you lack? Working through it to the root might help you realize that you're deriving worth from being perceived as smart, for example. So, why do you want to feel smart? Did someone make you feel like you weren't? Challenging our currencies of value opens up discussion into our worth, needs and emptiness.
I want to make sure I note that these aren't where our value comes from. Our value is in Christ alone and no matter how many projects I lead, it will never give me more value. It will feel bottomless and empty if I try to find my value in it. Fulfilling these values doesn't make us more valuable. They are simply the things we feel called to invest our time in.

2. What will be your trade offs?

No job is perfect. Every job requires some trade offs. For example, you might be able to avoid having a desk job, but that means you work more evenings. You might trade a bigger paycheck for more flexibility. Or exhilarating projects for more travel.

Life is full of trade offs and our jobs are no different. A while back, I took a job that made me realize I really need flexibility. To have autonomy over my schedule is super duper important to me. I felt trapped and anxious in a role that required me to sit at my desk until 5 p.m. I do my best work early in the day and often need some changes of scenery to keep my creative juices flowing. While my projects felt cooler in that role, it didn't really matter. The trade off wasn't worth it.

3. Who do you want to serve?

In every job, you're serving someone. Whether it's a CEO and a big company or clients or underprivileged boys or anywhere in between. Even if you're your own boss, you know your client base and target demographic. Who do you care about? Who lights you up?

4. What do you want to retire from?

Close your eyes (after you read this :)). Think about yourself 30 or 40 years from now, preparing for retirement. What do you want to retire from? What do you want this environment to look like? Who do you want to be saying farewell, noting what a loss to the industry it is to see you go?

The next job you take might not be in that field, because we don't always get to have our forever jobs in our 20s. But, it should be a step in that direction. If you think you might want to be a doctor, but you're currently at a desk, take a job in a hospital. If you think you might want to be a graphic designer, but don't have the certification, try taking a free General Assembly or Coursera course.

I constantly have to remind myself: no one is going to make this happen for me. If I want to run a summer camp and coach women and girls, I have to take steps to make it happen.

If you'd like to talk through this topic more or bounce these questions around together, I'd love to work with you!