Quick Blog Survey!

Hi, friends! Happy Friday! This photo encompasses all of my current cravings: citrus, margaritas and spring. :) Is it weird if I'm already planning future Cinco de Mayo-themed birthday parties for our early May babe? 

Maybe a little. :) 

A while back, many of you lovely people took a survey about my blog content. You gave me amazing feedback and one of the frustration points some of you mentioned was that it is difficult to find old content. I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want to dig through years and years of old posts! 

I am working to resolve this issue and was wondering if you'd be willing to take another short (short!) survey to help me in the process. Thank you so much in advance! 

Have a great weekend!

How to Find a Therapist

First of all, the response I received from my post about therapy was amazing. Thank you to so many of you who sent support and shared your own experiences with it. I know how tender it can feel to speak about a topic that can be taboo. But, I've said it before and I'll say it again: the only way to reduce shame around personal - sometimes darker - topics is by bringing them into the light. That monster in your closet? It's really just a hanger with an oversized shirt when you flip on the lights. Not so scary after all! I believe so fully in flipping on the lights in every area of our lives where we can and I'm grateful for a community that is so supportive.

Beyond sending me a whole bunch of "amens, I love my therapist!" emails, the number one response was this:

OK, I get it, therapy is good. But how do I find one? 

So many of you mentioned not knowing where to start or - worse - having had a bad session with a therapist who was not a fit and feeling too intimidated to try again. For those of you who are in that boat, know this: you're normal. Many, many women replied that they felt this way.

Finding the right therapist is so very crucial to its success. It's kind of like friendship - the juju and natural cadence matter. For me, I need someone who understands my values, is nonjudgmental and - honestly - that I could grab coffee with (if they weren't my therapist!). Some people might want a more academic or prescriptive personality and that's great, too. They key is finding someone who works for you. 

So how do you do it? Here are five steps to help you get started: 

1. Ask yourself what you want.

Do you want a male or a female? Do you want a specific religious background? Do you want someone who can prescribe meds? Do you want certain credentials, or are you all about the juju? Do they need to take insurance? Do you want the office to feel zen, more professional or like a living room? What will make you feel at ease?

I once saw a male therapist, which I thought would be no problem at all. But, for the topic I wanted to discuss, I realized a female would be a better fit. For our premarital counseling? A male was great. Chris and I both felt heard and understood by him. Consider what you want to discuss and what would help you open up.

2. Ask for referrals.

I guarantee one of your friends - or, at least, a friend-of-a-friend, has a therapist. It might require a little bravery to tell a friend that you would like to see someone, but, I promise you there are other people around you who are going to therapy.

I was in a wedding a year ago and I said something about seeing a therapist. Another bridesmaid said she loved her therapist and, before we knew it, we realized almost the entire bridal party had seen a therapist in her 20s. I promise people around you have therapists to whom they could refer you. Remember, therapy is not embarrassing; let's bring this topic into the light! 

3. Check existing resources. 

Many churches and colleges have counseling centers. Also, if you're comfortable asking your doctor, he or she may have someone to whom they recommend patients. Do you go to yoga? Your yoga instructor may know someone. Do you have a favorite blogger who seems invested in mental health? Many bloggers I follow have mentioned struggling with depression, anxiety and eating disorders and I have no doubt that, if they were local, they'd share their therapist's name. Don't be afraid to reach out beyond your most-obvious network.

4. Contact an author.

Years ago, I was pretty obsessed with the book Intuitive Eating. I was interested in working with someone on this topic, specifically, so I emailed the authors to see if they had IE coaches in Atlanta. It turns out they did! They emailed me right away with a list of local therapists who were qualified to coach people on their model, specifically. 

5. Research them.

Once you identify someone who might be a fit, ask them if you can set up a 20-minute phone call. Use the session to talk through the list of things you already identified matter to you. Check your juju here. Do they seem gentle? Professional? Thorough? Also, check their website. Do they have a blog or a book? Are they speaking anywhere nearby? Use every opportunity you can to get to know them ahead of time.

Remember: this is like dating. If you find one therapist who isn't a good fit, try again. Keep going until you find someone who is right for you. Your mental health matters and you're taking a brave step by caring for yourself. Stay strong, my friend. 

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Let's Get Coffee

My friend, Megan, once told me that she'd heard the idea that men's brains are like waffles - compartmentalized, with syrup staying in one square at a time. Whereas women's brains are like spaghetti - everything is inner-connected and we're always processing multiple things at once. This leads to this, which leads to this...

Sometimes, I wonder (worry?) that my blog might be insight into just how spaghetti-ish my brain really is. One day we're talking about ugly jealousy and throwing pity parties. And the next? We're talking about natural deodorant. I'm fairly certain it's the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do on a blog (build a brand, become an expert on one topic). But, if you know me in real life you know this is how our conversation would be if we were to sit down for coffee right now. 

Which leads me to today's post: if we were to get coffee right now, here's what I'd love to talk to you about. I got this idea from an old series by Allie Lehman that I loved.

If we were to get coffee today, I'd tell you how grateful I am that Chris has a break in traveling. It's been hard being apart and I have a whole new appreciation for a cup of coffee together in the morning and falling asleep together at night. I want time to slow down before he begins again. 

I also have a whole new appreciation for Charlottesville now that Chris is back. It's so much fun exploring together. Simple acts of driving to the grocery without a map feel like an accomplishment. Moving has been hard at times, but it has also made me so grateful for little things, like having family nearby (OK that one isn't little - it's huge!) and feeling settled in your home. 

I'd also tell you that I feel just a little bit crazy with all of the pre-baby lists I'm making. We've got nine weeks to go and I'm on a mission to have every inch of our house in tip-top-shape. I'd also tell you that I'm starting to feel a little nervous for birth. I'm so excited, but as it approaches, it's feeling so big. My sister-in-law told me her midwife said this is normal when it comes to labor and delivery. She said you start to feel like whoah I got myself into this and there is only one way out! It's true. I'm thrilled, nervous, excited and want time to slow down and speed up all at once. 

I'd also tell you that The Letter Project has been going gangbusters lately. It's so fun to see it take off and I couldn't feel more grateful for all of the women who continue to pour into it. I really never stop being amazed at how generous and kind people are if you give them the right outlet. 

Finally, I'd tell you that I can't even WAIT until spring. Be still my heart, it is near! We're two weeks away and I'm already dreaming of warm evening walks, picnics, swimsuits, flowers...ah. Warm weather you are my spirit animal. That doesn't make sense. But it's the truth. 

Happy Monday! I wish we really could get coffee today. 

Natural Products I Love

It can feel impossible to avoid all of the chemicals floating around in our day-to-day lives. From the water bottles we use to the food we consume to our sheets and everything in between, you could make yourself crazy. And poor! I'm pretty sure there is an organic or natural version of almost every product under the sun nowadays. 

For years, I've tried to take on the mentality that I'm going to do my best with it, but not let myself be crazy. It's very similar to my attitude toward eating, exercise and, honestly, a lot of life. Do my best to reduce the chemicals we use. Don't beat myself up if I use a plastic tumbler from time to time. Also, sometimes you just need Clorox. (Looking at you, flu season when your husband is on an airplane every week!)

Sometimes you need a workout and a kale salad. Sometimes you need a soft robe and Cheetos, nahmean? Does "Baked" make them natural? :) 

One of the areas where I try to be most aware, though, is when it comes to what I'm putting directly on my body and face. I read once that whatever we put on our skin is eventually absorbed into our bloodstream. This fact has made me extra aware of the products I allow to soak in all day. Pregnancy has made me extra-aware, knowing the baby is probably getting a little bit of anything I'm putting into my body. 

I do a quick check of each product on the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep site before purchasing to make sure it's in the green zone.

My go-to for moisturizers and face wash is Batty's Bath.

I've tried BeautyCounter moisturizers, but I don't think they compare to Batty's. I highly recommend taking her quick skin quiz before purchasing anything, but my favorite products are the Calendula & Cucumber cleanser and the Raw Radiance moisturizer. It saved me this winter! 

For an anti-aging line, I love everything I've tried by Goldfaden MD.

They sponsored an event for The Letter Project a few months ago and I was lucky enough to try a slew of products. Every single one is pregnancy and breastfeeding safe and I highly recommend them. I love the Doctor's Scrub and the Needle-Less lotion.

For body wash, I love Shore Soap.

Mermaid Kisses is my fav :) It smells wonderful! 

For dry shampoo, I love Qēt Botanicals. 

Their Lavender Dry Shampoo powder works really well. It's $20, but lasts forever! If you need extra, extra moisture for your skin, I also really like their balancing and cleansing face oils. 

I still haven't found a clean shampoo I love and am absolutely taking recommendations. I'm considering trying Hairprint's line, but they have no scent at all and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I love a good smell!

For deodorant, I love Arm & Hammer. 

I'm not exaggerating when I say I think I tried 15 deodorants before I found one without antiperspirant that worked for me. If you want to talk deodorants, email me. I'm not trying to brag, but I really consider myself somewhat of a professor of deo. :) 

Happy March!