My sweet intern for The Letter Project told me she doesn’t look at Instagram often. When she is consuming a lot of other people’s creative work, but not producing her own, it puts her in a weird emotional place.
Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts, music, checking my email and - to be honest - scrolling through Instagram while I breastfeed. It’s too much. I have so little creative energy and, when she explained her own feelings, I realized I was the same way. I just didn’t know it before she said it.
It’s like I’m on the sidelines, obsessively watching the game, but afraid to jump in and play.
About 10 weeks after Mac was born, when I started to hit my stride with early motherhood (and he started sleeping), I had so much creative energy. I would call my sisters weekly with new business ideas. Here we are, almost 10 months in, and I have no idea where the creativity has gone.
I found myself worried, a few days ago, that I would feel this way forever. But then I remembered one of life’s biggest truths: it’s all about seasons.
Some seasons are for creating. Some are for consuming. Some are for waiting; still others are for hustle. Some are for leading and others are for following. Some for singleness, others togetherness. Growth and stillness. Rest and harvest.
Nothing lasts forever - neither the good nor the bad. I’m remembering, today, that it’s about finding joy in each one and being grateful for the present.
Right now, I’m in a quiet season. One of consuming and learning. Less sharing. I guess, I’m learning how to swim in this new space of motherhood. If you feel like you’re in an unknown season, or perhaps a stuck one, remember, it won’t last forever. Keep going. Press on. Take it one step at a time. I believe in you.