making fun // paying it forward

 
I think there are a lot of cliches about changing perspective in life (hindsight 20/20, rosy retrospection, and the more I know, the less I understand...) that would say that our experiences change the way we see things.
 
And that's true, almost always.
 
Except for one thing.
 
For as long as I can remember (at least since I was 14), I have had a theory that there are three types of people in the world. There are fun makers, fun havers and fun takers.
 
The fun maker is making fun all the time. You know the type. Bringing snacks on a road trip and coming up with the best car games. Just really emitting fun and making it happen. The fun haver will partake in what the maker is doing, but isn't going to bring the party themselves. And then there are the fun takers - the type of person that can just suck the life out of the fun. They're not in the mood, so you're not allowed to be in the mood.
 
My brother, Duke, has been a fun maker since the day he was born, even coming into the world at 25 weeks because he was just so eager to get the party started. When he was young, we used to joke that he couldn't go in to fragile stores or quiet places because he was this little ball of energy and he couldn't really contain himself. The kid is just a fun maker through and through.
 
 
And this weekend, on Easter, he brought fun straight to the beach in a big way.
 
We went to a sunrise service, then found ourselves posted up on the beach for the long haul. Duke decided he wanted to take all of his cash and fill up Easter eggs, then plant them on the beach for random kids to find.
 
So, we took his money and stuffed our emptied eggs and acted real sneaky like as we dropped them around the beach. Then, we sat back and watched as the cutiest little kiddoes started finding them.
 
 
They were happy enough to find eggs - who wouldn't be?! - but then, when they opened them up and found money in them, they were ecstatic. We were watching from afar as they started jumping up and down - then running around the beach, digging, searching for more eggs. It was like the best kind of pandemonium broke out on the beach as these kids realized that the Easter bunny had actually come to the beach, and he'd left them cash. It's like he was working with the Tooth Fairy or something!
 
And, best of all, not even the parents knew where it came from.
 
If that's not a fun maker at his best, I don't know what is.
 
As we were leaving the beach, one of the kid's dads stopped us and asked if we'd planted the eggs. We awkwardly said yes and he replied, "Well, that was such a great surprise. We're going to take the eggs and refill them for other kids to find."
 
And this was the perfect reminder that even $1 acts of kindness don't go unnoticed. Sometimes the big things make the biggest difference, but other times, it's the little things that go the furthest. Sometimes we have to go on trips and donate money and think big. But sometimes, we just have to eat the jelly beans out of our plastic eggs and fill them up with a little bit of love for someone else to find. Who knows? Maybe the next person will add a little bit more love, and before we know it, the world will be filled with fun-making, love-giving egg hiders.
 
We can only hope, my friends!
 
Happy day to you!

handcuffed

A little over a year ago I went on a handful of dates with a boy. After a few dates, it was clear he wasn't my match, but these dates haven't gone unnoticed in my life. The grand finale culminated in one really rough evening that made me wonder just how it ever got this far. It has been called, by some of my friends, my worst date ever.
That feels a little dramatic to me, though.
Regardless, in the beginning there were fun dates, when I was excited about him, and his jokes were still funny and did he mean to touch my hand? And on one of those dates, we were at dinner and he asked me how my day was. I told him it was good! And he said, but are you always one of those people who says their days are good?
Probably.
That is, until this week, when my friend Hannah asked me how I'd been and I couldn't even change the words into good before they popped out: tired.
And then I felt embarrased for complaining and wanted to backtrack and tell her I was actually good, but unfortunately my brain was already six miles ahead thinking about why it popped out. This led to a whole slew of thoughts, which landed me at a frustratingly familiar place.
Yet again, I can't seem to slow down. I can't seem to figure out where to cut back. I can't commit to my February goal of spending time at home. And the real problem is, is that this leads to me feeling like I am not doing anything well. Like everything I'm doing, I'm performing just below grade. I'm sliding by and taking shortcuts and missing details.
Last summer and fall, I went through this excellent stretch where I spent a lot of time at home and felt organized and rested. But for some reason, 2013 has brought on an attitude of racing and running that has led to me to choas. Chaos like never seeing my roommate. Wednesday night, we had supper club, and I was just so grateful that we had something on the calendar together, so we could catch up.
When I visited Katie and Sara in Chicago, we stayed at Katie's house. That girl is busy, but she also knows how to say no and really values time to herself. And I noticed when I was there, that she had thought of every detail before my visit. She'd gotten food I liked, made plans just for me - had thought of tiny things that made me feel so important. And it meant so much to me - then also made me panic at the thought of all of my guests that have visited, with fear that I hadn't done the same for them. And it made me realize that in order to do things really, really well (like everything Katie does), you cannot do everything. You have to choose your priorities.
And the fact is, no one can make do it. I just have to make the choice, like choosing to budget or exercise. No one is going to handcuff me to my kitchen table one night a week.
But could you, someone?
On Wednesday, Courtney told me I should try to have one night each week at home. Like totally at home. Not an hour at home before dinner or after yoga and between volunteering. At. Home.
This weekend I'm heading to the beach with my family, which feels like the perfect opportunity to recharge and reconnect. Then, upon my return, Wednesdays officially become Whitney Wednesdays. Because (1) I love alliteration, obviously, who doesn't? and (2) they feel like the perfect midweek opportunity to have some quality alone time.
Courtney says she's holding me to it, which feels like the next best thing to handcuffs.
Let's do this!

PS: I'm not so narcissistic to think that you should now call Wednesdays the day of Whitney, too. But maybe you could have Solo Sundays or Togetherless Tuesdays or Me Myself and I Mondays -- really whatever resonates for you.

images via pinterest

bread & wine


When we were in Houston, Sam mentioned that he didn't think of himself as a "food person" and said he'd be happier if he could just healthily survive without eating (a blanket statement that only he can so smoothly execute).

And although it might have been the first time ever that Courtney has thought we were adopted, I agreed with him.

Yes, I like food. I love ice cream! But it doesn't fill me up in a non-sustaining sort of way. It doesn't bring me happiness with a lasting effect or warm my heart.

When I finished my triathalon this summer, Roomie Katie was leaving the house as I was returning home. On her way out the door, she said, "I am so proud of you! I am so happy for you! I made you a pie and it's in the fridge!"

Food is Katie's love language. When someone she loves is sad, she wants to make them dinner. When she is celebrating them, she wants to bake them a cake. When she wants to have a late night conversation, she wants to reflect over milkshakes.  Giving love through food fulfills her.

While I'm a big fan of traditional love languages, I also believe we all have nontraditional love languages, and I've never so clearly understood how fulfilling they can be until I read Shauna Niequist's new book, Bread & Wine.

Like Katie, Shauna is a food person, and this book is all about finding community and love around the table. And even though I'm more like her dad, who she says finds life around water and that "the sounds and smells and rituals of life on the water bind him to God in ways nothing else does," I get the way she finds love and life through food. I think that God is constantly showing us his fingerprints on this earth and showing us love and happiness through ways that other people don't see and feel.

I felt very fortunate to receive an advanced copy of Bread & Wine if I agreed to blog about it, and if you're familiar with her previous books, Cold Tangerines and (my fav) Bittersweet, you won't be disappointed. It is full of the same Shauna advice that I sometimes wonder how I ever lived without, all spoken in her voice, which is one that seriously makes me think we could be besties.


One of my favorite parts was her advice to start where you are. Instead of being overwhelmed by everything you are not and how far you have to go, start with exactly where you are and go from there. So you can't cook? Start with something simple. You can't run five miles? Start by walking one. Give yourself the grace to start exactly where you are.

As a notorious self-improver, I loved these words. I loved the way it reminded me to cultivate a sense of gratitude and patience with myself. To expect baby steps and not results yesterday. To remember that we are enough, just being who we were created to be, and that's the very best place we can start.

I also loved the theme behind the entire book to let people into our messes. Whether it be our messy kitchens or messy hearts - by letting people into these spaces, we're allowing them to meet us where we are, too, and provide the healing and love we need in the moment.
{listen to her talk about it below} 

Along with the life lessons, the book also has recipes in most chapters. Since Jordan was visiting me this weekend, I decided to make like Shauna and show a little love through baking.
I made the Breakfast Cookies, which I aptly renamed Thank You for Coming Jordan, cookies [recipe below].


Shauna Niequist's Breakfast Cookies {adapted from Bread & Wine}

Ingredients:
3 large ripe bananas
1/4 cup coconut oil or olive oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups rolled oats
2/3 cup almond meal
2/3 cup shredded coconut
1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
1 teaspoon baking power
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

[Not really one for recipes, I made a few substitutions. I swapped the coconut and walnuts for chocolate chips. After reading the book, I *think* Shauna would be OK with this.]

Instructions:
In a large bowl mash the bananas and add the coconut oil and vanilla
In another bowl, mix together the dry ingredients
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, stir until combined
*the dough will be a bit looser than standard cookies
Form the dough into balls, bake at 350 for 14 to 16 minuts

And enjoy - Shauna would want you to! :)

jor takes atlanta // duck dynasty // dirty bingo

I realize that it's Wednesday and the weekend is long gone, but I've been leaving in a dream world over here where my weekend guest is still in town.
 
Jordan came in on Saturday and stays until tonight, so we've just been pretending school nights are Friday nights, and loving one another's company.
 
This weekend I was, unfortunately, pretty sick, although I did everything I could to tell myself otherwise. I was doing crazy things that only denial can lead you to do, like going running and baking and keeping my body in motion, pretending I wasn't feeling terrible.
 
Saturday night after Jordan arrived, we went to dinner with my friends at Yeah Burger and out to Ormsby's.
 
 
We had so much fun, but by 11 when I was completely dillusional from the Dayquil, Jor made me admit I was sick forced me home in the way only a really good friend can do.
 
{But for the record, I was fineeeee! :)}
 
Sunday, we went to church for Palm Sunday, then lunch at Cafe Jonah. I have been wanting to try to community brunch at Cafe Jonah for a while, and it was awesome. You pay what you think you owe based on how much you ate, and how much you enjoyed your meal. When you leave, they give you a token to put in a charity's bin of your choosing, and 10 percent of the proceeds for the day go to the charities.
 
 
After that, we watched the IU game with Ben, which was seriously stressful. Those boys kept us watching.
 
Sunday night, I introduced Jor to Cafe 640, then Melissa introduced us both to Duck Dynasty. I'm not sure which is a bigger win among those two, really.
 
Monday after work, Jordan and I decided to go to dinner at Noche, and on our walk home were tempted by a sign outside a restaurant, Diesel, that told us Dirty Bingo started at 8. Feeling slightly adventurous after a glass of wine, we couldn't see a better way to spend our evening. I can't say it's something I'm adding to my Atlanta Bucket List, but if you're looking to spice up a random Monday night, you'll be entertained. The scene was anything but our usual and the Bingo cards read all sorts of words I'm not inclined to type here. But we laughed a lot and made friends with the announcer after Jordan walked in on him in the bathroom. And what more could you want than friends in high places when it comes to Dirty Bingo?
 
 
I tuuuhried to get Jordan to give him her number when we left, but she refused. So, if you know the Dirty Bingo man from Diesel, feel free to holler for our girl.
 
 
I hope you had a wonderful weekend, and your week is off to a great start. Tomorrow is Thursday!
 
:)