indy weekend // baby T // DIYs

I told you all last week how Atlanta is making a sweet spot in my heart but, boy, oh boy, do I love home. My home. And my home people. They make me yearn for the ability to teleport like you don't even know. 

This weekend I went to Indiana for my cousin's wife's baby shower (cousin-in-law?). My mom and aunt, Mit, were throwing the shower for her and I couldn't miss it. It was a wonderful weekend there...

Friday, I got to see some of my very dear friends at Jordan's house. We drank wine and laughed and caught up on all things good. It made me feel so full seeing them.

Saturday we did last minute shower things, then the festivities began. The shower was so much fun and Samantha was an incredibly gracious and precious prego. I'm so excited to meet her sweet baby, Torrence in June!

I also have to take a minute to brag on my mom's amazing craftiness. She had a vision to create a cupcake tower out of onesies. 

I think I have over-explained my relationship with DIYs, and my mom is the exact same way. The attitude applies to crafting, too. It takes so long and requires so much detail orientation! But Muff had a vision.

She enlisted the help of my dad and me and, let me tell you, it's harder than they make it look on Pinterest! My mom outdid me on patience and craftiness and, alas, mastered the beautiful tower. 

I, on the other hand, helped make the sign for Torrence to hang above the mantle (with the help of my dad, who cut all the triangles!). Check out my skills below. First try, guys. First try: 

:) I fixed it, don't worry.

Congratulations Sam! Cannot wait to meet ecnerroT!

sianara, should

Stop should-ing on yourself.

Someone told me that recently. And I laughed a little bit and then spent too long thinking about other ways to make should almost sound like a cuss word (I'm not should-ing you.)

But then I let the actual meaning of it sink in and thought about just how many times a day I should myself. 

Should is a scary word because it implies that we are doing something wrong. Even when used in the least-aggressive, healthiest of ways (I should like kale. I should be on time. I should slow down.), it implies that we are inadequate. That we are not enough just doing what we're doing.

In high school, I ran cross country and had a very intense coach, who, as we were 14 years old, transitioning from the middle to high school teams, told us we should be running at least 60 miles a week to keep up with the training. Katie and I would go to 6 a.m. summer practices every day, sweating it out on those humid Indiana mornings.

And what turned in to a simple guideline became a rigorous should. We should be running at least 8.6 miles a day. But what if, one day, you just want to five or four or three? Heaven forbid, what if we want a day off?

Lately I've found that life is not as coincidental as we'd like to think. There is meaning behind what happens to us and sometimes life hands me the same conversation with different people, over and over in a short period of time, and I think that when life does that, it's telling me to blog about it.

And these days it seems like a lot of people aren't quite feeling like they're enough - like they should be married. Should be buying a house. Should be getting promoted. Should be having a baby. Should be further along. Should, should, should.  

Should is exhausting. Should is telling ourselves we are not succeeding. Should is shaming.

What if instead of should-ing all the time, we could?

I could be doing this, yes. But instead I'm doing that. And that's great, too.

I could be running 8.6 miles today, but instead I'm going to yoga. Or, possibly, taking a day off! And that's fulfilling, too.

I've decided that on this April Thursday, I'm banning should from my vocabulary. I'm hoping that by shining a little light on the word, I can take away it's power. We can begin to believe - even if only fleetingly at first - that today, just by doing the things we're doing, we're doing enough.

And I won't say that you should do it too, but I really think you could. Because you, my friend, are enough too. In fact, you're more than enough. Just by being you.

images via pinterest

playing hard to get

 

When we're neighbors we can go on walks after dinner.

 

When we live in the same town, we can take yoga together and have wine nights.

 

When we live closer together, we can make dinner and go on double dates.

 

I can't tell you how many times I have some variation of that conversation with my family and friends each week. It's like my coping mechanism for the distance between me and so many of the people I love: it won't last forever - you'll be with them soon - just hold on to the dream.

 

I was recently talking with Katie, who lives in Chicago, and was telling her that this spring, Atlanta is really starting to feel like home to me. And it feels so good - it's life-giving and fulfilling and makes me feel like I'm starting to understand my piece of this post-grad puzzle. But it also makes me feel panicked, and I didn't understand why at first. But then I asked Katie if she was going to buy a house in Chicago and she said: no, because then I'm stuck. I can't just leave.

 

 

And then I finally understood why it scares me that Atlanta feels like home. If Georgia begins to feel like the place I am meant to be, and if it begins to take up more room in my heart - if I love my job and relationships and am putting down roots - what happens to my plans? What happens to wine nights on my back patio with my far away friends?

 

It's like I've spent the last 2.5 years playing hard to get with this city: I can leave anytime. If you don't give me the job/husband/friends/life I want, I'll leave. I have lots of people I could run to, you know? If this doesn't work out, I'll be fine. I'll be out of here.

 

But as my relationships and career and life have begun to grow and develop, this city has slowly taken hold of my heart. The stakes are higher and it would be harder to leave.

 

 

Court and her family recently decided to move back to Virginia, and Ash and her family decided to buy a new house in Colorado - and both of their husbands are starting new jobs in their respective states.

 

So how can this be? How can my sisters both be doing what I'm doing in Atlanta, but doing it so far away?

 

I'm not sure, exactly. It doesn't make sense to me just yet, but I've noticed lately that life has a funny way of working itself out. Just when you think things aren't making sense it all, so often it seems lots of little pieces fall in to place. So for now, we just have to keep building the life and relationships that feel right in this moment, and doing our best to make the distance seem a little smaller than it really is.

 

And someday, when we're all sitting on our back porch, eating dinner after a long day together, we'll know that the time apart was worth exploring. And the time together? It'll be worth the wait.

 

I just know it.

 

 

image, image, image, image

 

::final four weekend::

Our fair Hoosiers didn't make it to the Final Four this weekend, but that didn't keep us from enjoying the tourney in Atlanta. The city was on fire with tons of energy, free events and great weather. It was the type of weekend that makes me happy from head to toe and so grateful to live in a big city. 

On Friday, my parents were in Atlanta as they drove home from the beach. We had cocktails on our front porch and went to dinner at Barcelona for my mom's birthday. It was the perfect way to relax before Saturday's festivities. I loved having them here!

On Saturday, Ben and Melissa and I met up with friends downtown for a day of free concerts. We missed Zac Brown Friday, but got to see Macklemore, Ludacris and Flo-Rida. There's something funny about being at a rap concert in the middle of the day, but we didn't let it hold us back. :)

After that, we went to dinner at the Righteous Room and out in the Highlands with Stacie. We danced to blues at Blind Willies, showing off our finest Cotillion moves.

I hope you had a great weekend and enjoyed the amazing weather. Spring is here, my friends!