what makes you worth more?

image source?

A friend of mine recently ended a relationship and, before doing so, said that a big part of not wanting to end it was simply that she didn't want to be single.

For the obvious reasons - yes. Because it's fun to be in a relationship and to have someone to do things with and to go on dates. But then, there was another reason. She said: 

People treat you differently when you're in a relationship.

And, honestly, I think she's right. People ask you on double dates. And get excited about your developing relationship. And ask you about your life and his life. It can feel like people find you a little more worthy of love because, in fact, someone has chosen you as the target of their love.


And as someone who recently moved from singleness into coupledness, I've felt it. I've had all of the above things happen to me and I suddenly noticed how much less scary New Year's Eve was. I don't really care what we do this year... I remember thinking.

It's not just that people treat you differently, but that you begin to treat yourself a little differently. It can be easy to believe that because someone else has selected you, you are, in fact more worthy.

But, it's really important to me that I don't let myself believe it. I don't want anything to define my worth. Whether it be a relationship 
or my blog followers 
or an engagement ring 
or Instagram likes 
or how busy I am 
or my job 
or my weight 

or anything. define my worthiness. 


I don't want to get into a rhythm of evaluating and performing and obsessing. I don't want to allow any of these things to impact how I feel about myself and my current state.

I want to live a life where I am sure in myself and my worth in Christ.  I want to cultivate a life that allows me to know I am enough, even when I'm ready for something more. A life that allows me to believe that doing my best is better than being perfect. That calls me to stand for contentedness in the present. A life that allows me to pursue my dreams and dream of all that I want, but not allow my wants to taint what I have right now. 

Because what I have and who I am is all that I need right now. 

In fact, it's enough. 

{today}

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Reading:

The Fault in Our Stars. 20 pages in and already hooked. Have you read it? I've yet to hear a bad review.

I travel along to feel lovely on purpose. I like her thoughts on waiting for the right person. 

30 things to stop doing to yourself - Love this. Especially the point on not making everything perfect in life. Life is real. 

Also, love this site. Put in a book you enjoyed and it will generate similar suggestions. Give it a minute to load ;)

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Wanting to try:

Clean, Lean & Sexy's honey almond energy bars. Ingredients include dates, almonds, raisins, almond butter and honey. Right up my 10-a.m.-snack-time-alley.


A Beautiful Mess' Thai Tea Frappe. It looks unreal. I also want to try a Thai massage because I've heard they are amazing for you. Should I go to Thailand?

The new Tacos & Tequilas that opened on Ponce. I've never been to T&T but I love a good Mexican restaurant. 
image: anyone have a source?

Wanting to buy:

This phone case. But I have, unfortunately, been quarantined in the phone case department. I am now only allowed to buy very durable cases. (RIP old phones)

Surfy Sundays mug. I love Sundays. And mugs. And mugs that say Sunday.

This America kimono. You want it too, don't you?


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Loving:

The Kettlebell Yoga class I tried at Hotlanta yoga recently. It was definitely a different experience and the studio is much more relaxed than those I'm used to. But it was different and I liked it.

The new Localleikki app. They asked me to try it out a few months ago and now it's live (&free!) in the app store. It has been great for traveling so much recently - it allows you to find running, hiking, biking (+more) trails near you. You can filter it down to how far you want to go, what you want the trail surface to be, etc. It's fun :)

The Vineyard Vest Fresh Produce sent me to wear. It's perfect to throw on when I'm going to yoga but want to look presentable or to brighten up and pull together an outfit. 

You. For reading my blog. Thanks for that. :)

Bye, now.


where i want to live forever // atl spring break


People often ask me if I'll move back to Indiana any time soon and my response is always the same - that I really have no idea. One of the coolest and scariest things about life right now is that I'm just living. 

As somewhat of an obsessive planner, and as someone who has always had a plan for what 27 would look like - it can be scary at times. But it's also pretty amazing. For the first time since high school I've stopped worrying about what I want to be when I grow up, when I will have babies or who I will marry...

That's not to say I'm apathetic. I'm serious about my job. I can't wait to get married. I'm so excited to one day be a mom. I'm still taking steps every day to advance my future. 

But for the first time in years, I finally understand that it's not my plan and, even by constantly stressing and calculating, I can't make my plan come true. 

Do I see myself staying in Atlanta for a while and continuing to build my life here? Yes! But could I have told you at 21 that I'd still be here with life as it is now? Or, better yet, could I have told you yesterday what would happen today? Definitely not. Educated guesses - of course. But I don't have a crystal ball. 

And this weekend with my family gave me even more perspective. As I shared Atlanta with them, it reminded me how much I love this city. But it also reminded me that wherever they are - whether it be Atlanta, Indiana, Virginia, Colorado or Rome - is exactly where my home is. 

And this weekend, it was Atlanta:

We helped my dad surprise my mom on Wednesday when he showed up - she had no idea he was coming down.



We had a cookout Thursday night in the beautiful weather.


We went to the Aquarium (finally! bucket list #38) Friday, which was awesome. They did such an amazing job making it an experience. It's so much more than animals in water. If I were a kid, my mind would have been blown. 






I sold my car, which was a less-fun thing to do, but needed to happen while my dad was in town because we were both on the title. And it was at least productive! Bye, bye, sweet Jeep. You've been a great friend to me. 



We went to dinner at Tin Lizzy's to celebrate the birthday kids: Duke, Ryan and my mama. 



We spun the rock at the corner of 10th and Piedmont (bucket list #130 - so heavy!).



We went to breakfast at Highland Bakery, where I tried their GF Sweet Potato biscuit and about d.i.e.d. How has no one told me about this before? (NOW bucket list #131).

We went to the Goat Farm.





And played in an intramural volleyball game in Piedmont Park.


And went to dinner at Farm Burger to celebrate Duke's day-of birthday! With homemade cookies and ice cream for dessert. And presents!



And talked and laughed and loved and realized that home isn't a place at all, it's one another. 

I hope your weekend was wonderful!