what happens when you want more?

Lately, I've been avoiding a blog post that is begging to be written. It's come up with friends, family and multiple emails from readers. Each one dances around the same question:

Is it OK to admit that you want more? That you aren't satisfied?

The struggle with the post is that there is a very fine line between getting caught in the comparison trap vs. admitting that I'm ready for more.

I don't want to be someone that thinks the grass is always greener or is constantly looking for the next thing. I want to practice gratitude and relax in life's sweet moments. I don't want to be yearning for more when I should be resting in the peace that I have enough and am in the phase I'm meant to be in. I don't want to get caught in the very Millennial trap of constantly asking for the next, next and next.

However, I do want to be someone that pushes herself to go for more. I don't want to be complacent or still when my head and my heart are telling me to go.

So where do you draw the line?

Right now, life in Atlanta is good. My brothers live one floor above me. I adore my friends here. Chris and I are in such a fun phase - comfortable yet still newish and exciting. It's a sweet period that, honestly, a year ago when I was pretty frustrated with being single and lonely without family in Atlanta, I would have PAID to be in.

So why, some days, am I itching for what's next? Why do I get greedy and wonder when I can live near even more of my family? And if Chris and I are moving forward fast enough? And what will be next at work?

Why do I find myself wondering what is next when right now is so sweet?

I think sometimes we rush toward what's next because we thought we'd be there by now. And one of the hardest things to do in your 20s is to live in reality as opposed to what you think should have happened. No, we don't need to kill our dreams of the life we thought we'd have. But we do need to let them take up a little less space in our line of vision. We need to let them float away just enough so that they are at the periphery and we can focus on the now.

So we can take in deep, deep breaths and see the beauty in the life we're creating, instead of the life we thought we'd create. 

Sometimes we hold on to the dreams we once wanted long after they are really our dreams anymore. We beat ourselves up for not getting to a phase we decided we'd be in by now. But what I'm learning is that maybe those dreams we used to have aren't really our dreams anymore. Maybe the new we're creating is far better. And if we'd give ourselves the grace to see that reality, we won't be in such a hurry to leave it all behind. 

fresh harvest review

I'm so excited today to tell you about Fresh Harvest. This is bold: but I think it may be my favorite thing I've ever reviewed. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Fresh Harvest is similar to a CSA but, from personal experience, much better. I loved my CSA, but overall, Fresh Harvest was an even better experience. Here's why...

Why I liked it better than a CSA:

+ You don't have to opt in for a subscription. You can try it one time, or set up weekly deliveries. You aren't locked in, which is a huge perk. 

+ You pick your basket size. With my CSA, I had way too many veggies. Fresh Harvest allows you to pick what you want - from small to large to fruits to meat and everything in between. They understand that food isn't one size fits all.

+ They deliver it to you. Your house, your office - wherever you want. I had mine delivered to my office so it wouldn't get warm outside.

+ They work with tons of local farmers to pack the boxes. Which means if one farm has a bad crop of tomatoes, you're not out of luck. There are a lot of farmers working together to give YOU your items. 

+ They have more than just vegetables. Much more! A bakery, meat, eggs and dairy - to name a few. Essentially, they can be your local grocery store. 

My favorite elements:

+ On Sunday, Fresh Harvest emails you to tell you what you'll be receiving. If you don't want something, you can swap it out for something else - free of charge. 

+ Not going to the grocery! I do.not.like having to go to the grocery on crazy Sunday. It totally hangs over my head all weekend. The fact that I didn't have to go this week was absolutely amazing. 

+ The prices. For significantly higher quality food (local, organic, free-range), the price is almost identical to my weekly Trader Joe's runs. And, by the way, I saved time not going to the grocery. 

+ They threw in free stuff! A sample of sea salted grassfed butter (amazing) and chocolate granola (double amazing). 

+ The peanut butter. HOLYMOLY. It was delicious. If you try a basket, try the PB. Asap. It has sea salt and coconut oil in it. It's unreal.

+ The customer service. The team is awesome. In their words, they are "from the state of Georgia and for the state of Georgia." And it couldn't feel truer. They are here to combat unhealthy eating and do it in the easiest, kindest way possible. I loved they way they communicated regularly, offered to replace anything that wasn't perfect and want to please their customers. 

+ Their FAQ is massive. Which is ideal for someone like me who has a lot of FAQs.

What now?

+ I'm signing up for a subscription. Totally converted over here!

+ Dying to try their coffee. Definitely thinking of adding that on to my next order! 

+ If you are in Georgia, I strongly recommend trying it at least once. You've got nothing to lose. Minus a trip to the grocery, that is! By the way, if you put my name in the referral box, we will both receive a $10 discount.

In exchange for this review, I received one free box from Fresh Harvest, but this review is absolutely my own opinion and I couldn't recommend them more highly!

deep breaths in denver

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting my sister, Ashley, in Colorado. 

The weekend was just what I needed: We relaxed on Friday afternoon - catching up and eating outside on her beautiful deck. We ate a good dinner and went to bed early.

We got up at the crack of dawn Saturday so she could [be a baller and] do a triathlon. 

Then we went on a breakfast date just the two of us, during which I, too, feasted like I'd just done a tri. 

Saturday afternoon, we got pedicures, iced Chai lattes and went to a Criterion in downtown Littleton with her boys. 

Saturday night, we feasted on amazing carry out and went to bed early again - tired from our 4:30 a.m. wake up call.

It was absolutely the perfect mix of family time, catching up on sleep and breathing in that fresh mountain air.

Thank you, Ash&Jose, for an amazing weekend! 

on life's hardest times

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Something I've noticed about my 20s is that time seems to stand still and flash before my eyes all at once. While I'm in certain harder periods (say 25 or single or bored), life can feel like it goes on forever. But then, when I look back, it feels like everything changes so quickly. 

Friends go from single to married in less than a year. They get pregnant. And move to new cities. And go on mission trips. And go to grad school. And take on new jobs.

And before we know it, everything has changed in the blink of an eye. And I wonder why I ever wanted to hurry so badly to begin with. 

I can tell you, very clearly, which times in my 20s I thought would never end:

1) After a terrible breakup at 24 - leading into my 25th year, which was the year I thought I'd be getting engaged.

2) Last spring when I felt alone and pretty lost. 

They are small spans of time that lasted only a few months but feel like some of the longest periods of my 20s.

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But you know what else? They are also some of the most significant. There is something so, so beautiful about those times. Yes, I felt broken and confused. But I also grew so much. I learned more about who I am and what I want out of life. I figured out what I really believe. And I learned to believe in myself. It stretched me so much more than the good times. And it made me so much more grateful for the good. 

It's funny, when you talk to women - especially older women who have experienced more adversity - when they get to talking about life, it's so often the hard times they mention. The times when they had to buckle down and go it alone and grit their teeth. Those are the times that grow us the most. 

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At 24, I thought I was ready to marry my then-boyfriend. And at 26, I felt pretty ready to meet my husband and get married. But you know what? I was wrong both times. I needed more time alone. I needed to grow more. And sort through some of my own issues. I needed to let go of the things I thought I'd always wanted and open my mind to more. 

I'm so glad I didn't get what I wanted at 21, 23 or 25. I'm so glad God had different plans than I did. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know, for those of you who feel like life just isn't what you thought it would be: the darkest hour is before the dawn. Your heartache and disappointment will bend you, shape you, mold you and make you. But you know what? It won't break you.