Lately, I've been avoiding a blog post that is begging to be written. It's come up with friends, family and multiple emails from readers. Each one dances around the same question:
Is it OK to admit that you want more? That you aren't satisfied?
The struggle with the post is that there is a very fine line between getting caught in the comparison trap vs. admitting that I'm ready for more.
I don't want to be someone that thinks the grass is always greener or is constantly looking for the next thing. I want to practice gratitude and relax in life's sweet moments. I don't want to be yearning for more when I should be resting in the peace that I have enough and am in the phase I'm meant to be in. I don't want to get caught in the very Millennial trap of constantly asking for the next, next and next.
However, I do want to be someone that pushes herself to go for more. I don't want to be complacent or still when my head and my heart are telling me to go.
So where do you draw the line?
Right now, life in Atlanta is good. My brothers live one floor above me. I adore my friends here. Chris and I are in such a fun phase - comfortable yet still newish and exciting. It's a sweet period that, honestly, a year ago when I was pretty frustrated with being single and lonely without family in Atlanta, I would have PAID to be in.
So why, some days, am I itching for what's next? Why do I get greedy and wonder when I can live near even more of my family? And if Chris and I are moving forward fast enough? And what will be next at work?
Why do I find myself wondering what is next when right now is so sweet?
I think sometimes we rush toward what's next because we thought we'd be there by now. And one of the hardest things to do in your 20s is to live in reality as opposed to what you think should have happened. No, we don't need to kill our dreams of the life we thought we'd have. But we do need to let them take up a little less space in our line of vision. We need to let them float away just enough so that they are at the periphery and we can focus on the now.
So we can take in deep, deep breaths and see the beauty in the life we're creating, instead of the life we thought we'd create.
Sometimes we hold on to the dreams we once wanted long after they are really our dreams anymore. We beat ourselves up for not getting to a phase we decided we'd be in by now. But what I'm learning is that maybe those dreams we used to have aren't really our dreams anymore. Maybe the new we're creating is far better. And if we'd give ourselves the grace to see that reality, we won't be in such a hurry to leave it all behind.