tips for falling asleep easily

I'm typically a pretty bad sleeper (see Thursday's post) but lately I've been sleeping like a champ. A few weeks ago, I took the GRE, had a big deadline and had a lot of changes at work. And I still fell asleep easily each night!

I'd like to tell you that I finally listened to what every sleep study says to do and I no longer take my phone with me to bed. But that would be a lie. I'm not that self-actalized yet. :) 

I know a lot of other people struggle to fall asleep, too, especially during times of stress. I'm so happy with how I've been sleeping that I thought I'd share my tips. Here's how I cleaned up my sleep hygiene: 

1. I diffuse lavender into the air. I use doterra's version and usually diffuse it for about 30 minutes while I wind down. It smells amazing and has helped me to calm down naturally. 

2. I do bedtime yoga. I started Yoga with Adriene (doing the 30-day challenge) and have been doing it every night before bed. It's not sweaty yoga - it's totally relaxing. Each time I start, my mind is racing with everything I need to do and I question whether or not I should be wasting time on it. But by the time it's over, I'm relaxed and my mind is so much readier to sleep. I like to turn down the lights, diffuse the lavender and light a candle while I do it. Sounds zenny, right?

3. I make sure everything is in its place. If things are out of order in my room when I try to go to bed, my brain feels out of order, too. Putting everything in its place, including setting out my outfit and bags for the next day, helps me to fall asleep with a clear mind. 

4. I read or journal. Even if it's just for five minutes. 

5. I interact with hot water. This isn't weird, I promise :) I either take a hot shower or wash my face with warm water. I also like to drink a hot drink - lately I've been loving Sunshine in a Cup. In the morning cold water helps me wake up and at night the warm water helps me to calm down.

Happy ZZZs!

30 Questions That Keep You Up at Night in Your 20s

{back before I worried about any of this stuff}

1. Am I saving enough money?

2. What if I hate sitting at a desk?

3. How can I find a job that I'm passionate about?

4. Do I have enough friends?

5. Am I close enough with my friends? 

6. How do I know if I should marry him? 

7. How do I know what a deal breaker is?

8. Am I too high maintenance in relationships?

9. Am I too low maintenance - do I accept too little? 

10. How am I perceived? 

11. Am I going to be single forever?

12. Am I behind? Should I have a house, boyfriend, promotion, more savings?

13. Am I going to be too old when I have kids? 

14. Will I be able to have kids?

15. How can I be social but still save money? 

16. Is this the right career for me?

17. Am I underpaid?

18. What if I never meet someone I want to marry? 

19. Did I pick the wrong career?

20. Should I go back to school?

21. Is it too late to go back to school?

22. How can I avoid divorce?

23. Will I ever have enough money to live the life I want?

24. Is it lame if I want to stay in on the weekends?

25. Do I need more alone time than most people? 

26. Do I go out too much?

27. Do I stay in too much?

28. What if I can't do it?

29. What if things don't work out?

30. Does everyone else understand all this and nobody told me about it?

I don't have answers to all of these questions, but I wanted to put this out there because sometimes you just need someone to normalize your fears. Sometimes, knowing you're not alone in what you're feeling is as good as the worry being resolved.

So if you're like me - a constant ebb and flow of ease and worry moving throughout my mind, I wanted to promise you that you're not alone. The further you get into your 20s, the smaller this list gets. Not necessarily because everything is resolved, but because you become more sure of who you are and more confident that - yes - you can do it. 

the four things i'm doing this year

Have you ever heard the theory that you can only be really good at three or four things at once? I first heard it while listening to an Influence Network podcast from Jess Connolly.  The idea is that you should pick three (max four) things to focus on and pour as much as you can into them to really succeed.

Of course, that doesn't mean you can only do those things. She explained that if you pick to be a marathoner as one of your three items, you'd really pour into it. But if you don't pick that, you can still be a runner. It doesn't mean you're limited to only performing three things over and over again. It just means that your time, heart and energy aren't all going to be poured into the running.

I've been thinking about it a lot at the start of this year. I have a habit of picking 10 or 15 things each year, because of I have a wildly unrealistic concept of time and tend to believe (falsely) that I'm a superhero and won't need the time or sleep {or insert basic need}. 

But I really want 2015 to be a different than the back half of 2014. 

It was a season full of so many amazing, amazing things, but I was too run down to really enjoy and embrace them. I constantly craved a minute alone in my house that didn't require packing and unpacking. And, just as our food cravings indicate something about what our body needs, so do our emotional cravings. 

I told you yesterday about a few of the many things I don't do. Some of those are because I can't and some are because they aren't priorities right now. This year, I want to cultivate a greater awareness of what I do well and how I can use those strengths to enrich the world and myself. I want to align my activity with my ability. Here's where I'm focusing: 

1. I want to find my place in Atlanta. 

This one sounds more dramatic than it is. I know and love my place in Atlanta in this sense of my relationships. But I want to figure out what I can give back to this city. I want to stretch myself in new ways and really embrace it for all it is. I'm guilty of having a really laissez-faire attitude when it comes to how long I'll be living here. For a long time I've just thought "maybe I'll stay another year. Maybe five. Maybe I'll move next month." This was a defense mechanism that I needed to employ during some harder times when I needed the safety net and reminder of knowing I could move home anytime. But these days, I know I could move home anytime. I think refusing to commit emotionally and mentally is now less instrumental and more detrimental. I'm part of this city and the more I invest in it, the more of a positive impact I can have.

2. I want to focus on self care. 

Unfortunately, when we get really busy, self care is often the first thing to go, when it should probably be the last. This year, I want to focus on listening to my body and abiding by what it's telling me. This means taking days of from working out. Or, going to yoga even though it's not as grueling as another workout. This means prioritizing sleep. Using more essential oils. Taking time to meal prep. I want to go for walks and listen to podcasts and music. I want to talk to friends on the phone, but give myself permission not to be on the phone. I want to get better at identifying my needs and not be afraid to fulfill them. When we care for ourselves, we're better versions of ourselves, which means we can love people better. 

3. I want to pour into my relationships. 

With God. With my siblings and parents. With my friends. I want to pour into relationships that matter most because I firmly believe relationships are one of the things that matter the most. 

4. I want to seek adventures. 

In my own city and in new cities. Physical adventures and emotional ones, too. I don't want to get stuck or complacent. I want to seize this phase in life: unmarried, no kids, with great friends and family in a city I love. I want to make the most of every minute of it.

So, that's what I do do :)

Long ago I read Shauna Niequist's Bittersweet, which is one of my all-time favorite books and has carried me through my 20s.  In it she has a chapter "Things I Don't Do". I have always admired how she gives herself permission not to do things. Her wisdom and advice inspired this post, as well as yesterday's. If you haven't read this book, I strongly recommend it! I also recently noticed that The Tiny Twig posted something similar a while back. Her post is great, especially if you're a mom trying to do it all :)

Who I'm Not

I recently told Chris that I have this vision of us being a couple that eats dinner and then watches TV together. Doesn't that sound nice after a busy day of work? Eating a healthy dinner and turning on a show you're both hooked on? 

I think it sounds lovely. 

But, here's the thing: we aren't that couple.

Neither of us even has one current show we follow. We're not caught up on anything. I think we've maybe watched four episodes of a show together - ever. We've seen one movie in the theaters. I would guess we have watched three at home. 

See? We are not that couple. But the idea of it sounded so appealing to me.

The exchange got me thinking about how sometimes we want to be something even if it doesn't fit within our reality. 

For a while, I really wanted to be someone who takes beautiful pictures with a DSLR camera. Not just because I wanted the beautiful pictures, though. I think girls who carry around big cameras are so cute. They're artsy and creative and thoughtful (in my eyes). And I wanted to be that girl. 

So, I bought a camera last fall and made it my 2014 resolution to take a photography class and get really good at it. Chris even bought me a book about it!

I never used the camera or took the class. I sold it a few months ago. I'm not that girl. I drop things a lot, so I was really worried to carry it around. Also, I hate having things to carry, to the point that I often just put my ID and phone in Chris' pocket so I can go hands free (I'm that girl instead of the cool artsy girl.) I love snapping pictures with my iPhone, but I'm afraid that's where my artistic talent ends. 

I'm not a lot of other things, either. 

I don't stay up late. At all. It's almost impossible. 

I don't always find cool, new music. I love radio hits and I can't help it! 

I know nothing about makeup. I don't know what a CC cream or what shade of lipstick would be right for me. 

I don't follow sports. 

I don't iron.

I don't paint or make pottery or work with leather or do any sort of artistic hobby.
I don't speak a foreign language even though I took eight years of French. 

I don't wrap beautiful gifts. I prefer the no-measure-scrunch-and-tape method. 

I don't do some of things because I can't. But, I don't do some of these things because they aren't my priority right now.

In 2015, I want to focus on making room for the things that matter to me. I want to let go of comparison and be comfortable with the fact that some girls are really good at the things I listed above, but that doesn't mean I have to be good at them. We're all different and have wonderful, personal strengths to bring to the world.

So what am I doing in 2015? I'll tell you tomorrow!

Long ago I read Shauna Niequist's Bittersweet, which is one of my all-time favorite books and has carried me through my 20s.  In it she has a chapter "Things I Don't Do". I have always admired how she gives herself permission not to do things. Her wisdom and advice inspired this post, as well as tomorrow's. If you haven't read this book, I strongly recommend it! I also recently noticed that The Tiny Twig posted something similar a while back. Her post is great, especially if you're a mom trying to do it all :)