A really wise friend once told me to be generous with what you know. She said to share easily and willingly when people seek advice and don't be afraid of giving it away for free.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I've had some major personal shifts in my life and have learned more in these few weeks than I ever expected. I've been trying to find a balance between wanting to store it all up like little nuts for when I am coaching, but also wanting to share generously here on my blog.
In the last few weeks, I decided to accept a new job, which will start next month, started working on a pretty huge side project that I've been sitting on since the fall and am interviewing for a grad program I applied to this winter. All of these things happened quickly, as if overnight, and, everyone close to me keeps telling me that it really does pour when it rains. It's a stark contrast to the few months prior, where I felt like I was living in a stuck season where I couldn't figure out how to make a change, when I knew I was desperately craving one.
Melissa asked me if I'd write a blog post about getting stuff done, which made me laugh because I've always been kind of a crazy taskmaster. But she told me she meant more along the lines of all of those changes - how do you move from a stuck career to one you're excited about? How do you make a hobby a job? Or a dream a reality?
I don't proclaim to have the answers to these questions (at all!), but with all of these changes happening, I've learned a lot about how to get from A to B and from stuck to unstuck. I've never been much of a saleswoman, so I figured I'd might as well be generous with what I know and give it away for free. :)
Here's what I've learned:
1. Make time to figure where you really want to go. Last fall, I was too busy to make any changes. I was going too hard in every area of life and I didn't have time to reflect on what I really wanted to be doing instead. On one particularly rough day, when I was absolutely run ragged, I met with my mentor at work. She said: In a few weeks, everything is going to slow down. When it happens, don't fill up that extra space. Use it to reflect and figure out what is next for you. And don't think about adding anything back in until you figure it out.
It was amazing advice and, once I finally did it, I realized I wanted to pursue coaching, make a change at work and begin this new side project. In November, I didn't know any of that.
2. Everything is awesome. But pick one thing. That sounds kind of bossy. But the point is, you can't get to where you want to go if you don't know where it is you want to go. Earlier this week, Melissa and I were talking about how weird it is in your 20s because sometimes, quitting your job and traveling the world sounds amazing. And other times, having an intense career does. And other times, getting married and having kids and settling down does. She told me, you don't have a lot of perspective or different experiences in your 20s, so everything looks good.
She's right - all of those things look good to me. But, the truth is, you can't have them all at once. Over time? Maybe. But, you have to pick one or two things that you're trying to gun for and see where they take you. If you have no idea, consider meeting with a coach or counselor, or enlisting a few trustworthy friends to help you figure out what would be a good next step. Think about the things you value - from your morals to having work life balance and everything in between. Take time to meet with people who do what you're interested in doing. Research, reflect, connect and don't stop until you feel more sure of what you want the most.
3. Don't let fear be your compass. Fear is paralyzing. And terrifying. Don't let it make you stuck. Are you afraid of not having money? Or failing? Or hating it? Don't let those things stop you. The truth is, almost everything is fixable. For the most part, there is always an out. Maybe not an undo button, but a way out. And sometimes taking a step that feels like a mistake is really just an unexpected step toward something even greater.
4. Make room for what you want to happen. I don't know what your dream is, but if you don't make enough room for it to start to come into your life, it won't. When we over-pack our schedules, neglect self care, ignore relationships or development opportunities - or all of the things that help us move forward, we get stuck. Make some white space.
5. Make a list of the first five steps. And then take one. And, remember, if all else fails organize your purse.
If you want to discuss this topic further in a one-on-one session, I'd love to chat with you! Email me directly about private coaching.
