When is it going to be your turn?

This year, Chris and I have ten weddings on the docket, not to mention the bachelorette and engagement parties, as well as the showers. Starting this month, the remainder of the year is, in no uncertain terms, wedding season. 

I was talking with a friend about it recently and she said that she was so excited to celebrate her friends throughout the rest of the year, but she couldn't help but wonder when it was going to be her turn. 

The phrase "my turn" has come up with a lot of my friends lately and I noticed that a post I wrote in 2014 recently moved to the top of my most frequently read list. So, while I'm still trying to pull together pictures from my family's trip to the beach last week, I thought I'd repost it for anyone who might need to be reminded. Don't forget - you are beautiful, you are enough and your life doesn't not begin when you get married. 

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This picture of Sally, Melissa and me is one of my favorites. We took it at Oyster Fest, which was almost exactly two years ago. It was springy in February and we got up early and had mimosas and the sun shone all day long. It reminds me of one of my favorite times in Atlanta - when we were all becoming friends and everything was new and exciting and we'd never even been to Oyster Fest before. 

I always think of that when I look at it.

But you know what else I think of? How right after we took this picture I started crying. And they had no idea what to do because I'd never cried in front of them before. How I told them I was sad that all of my friends had boyfriends and I didn't understand why I couldn't find a nice guy and finally just said, "when is it going to be my turn!?"

You get it. Right? So many of my friends want to know that. And so much more.

Why aren't they getting asked on dates?

Why aren't they meeting any quality guys? 

Why do all their friends keep meeting nice guys and they don't?

Why is God making them wait?

What is wrong with them?

When is going to be their turn?

And I get it. I so get get get it. I've had that feeling so many times. After bad dates and break ups and nights when I felt so alone. It's lonely. And loneliness is far worse than actually being alone. It's not having someone who knows you, gets you, makes you a priority.

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I don't know why some people get married at 18 and others have to wait until 32 and others at 55 and others not at all. I don't know why we all have to experience these trials differently. 

But I do know that, even though it can be an uphill battle, the best thing we can do is enjoy the right now. 

We cannot waste this season of life because we're tired of waiting for the next one. It might feel like winter in your love life - a little cold, not a lot blooming - but spring will come.

God is doing something. Big time. Two years ago, when that picture was taken, I was so sure I was ready. I think I even told my friends: I'm just ready! And I really, really felt ready.

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But God has done crazy cool stuff in my life since then. I've been broken down and built up 37 times. I've felt more real joy than I have in years. I've learned so much more about who I am. I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin and am finally living less for perfection and pleasing and more for the right things.

And it's not even over! Things are happening every day, and I am so grateful that God knew better. I thought I was ready, but, as it turns out, I was wrong. I'm a big time work in progress and the work is just getting started.

You are Enough, You Have Enough, You do Enough

This week marks a full three months since we set our New Year's Resolutions and the end of Lent. What we set in January might have gone away and come back again by now.

I didn't make many resolutions at the new year, but for Lent, I decided to give something away every day. I wish I could find a way to describe how good it felt. In a nutshell, it gave me the feelings of (1) making others happy by giving them things, (2) while also purging my own life of things I don't need anyway. I have more white space - both physically and emotionally.

Why am I telling you this? To tell you I'm awesome? Definitely not. Just the opposite, in fact. To publicly address the question I can't get off my mind:

Why was I hoarding so much stuff I didn't need? 

I feel sad I've held on to these things for so long that I'm now living easily without. I feel sad I gave away 10 bags of clothes and I still have plenty to wear.

When did I become a slave to consumerism?

This challenge has changed the way I want to live. I feel like I have momentarily broken the more-is-more-mentality in my life. I want to stay outside the circle; I don't want to fall back into the aggressive cycle. I don't want to look at my possessions as an extension of myself or an addition to my worth. I want to look at them for what they really are: possessions.

And, honestly, I want to break the more-is-more-mentality in other areas of life. With my calendar, relationships and words. I don't want to be constantly piling on more and more until I break, but instead practicing an attitude of enough. An attitude of wanting more.

I want to be energized by the abundant good in life and not drained by the wanting. I want to feel peaceful and abundantly filled with Christ's love. I want to believe that I am enough, I have enough and I do enough on this good, Good Friday.

life lately

Happy Wednesday readerfriends! I haven't done many life updates lately, so I thought I'd share some around these parts. Here's some of the good stuff from the last few weeks:

Sharing: On Robyn's blog today. Go check her out :) She has awesome words to share.

Loving: My Fresh Harvest (c/o) veggies. Siberian Kale came in my most recent box and it was unreal fresh. It was easily the best kale I've ever had. Yep! Best ever. (If you're new around here, get the download/a referral code for Fresh Harvest.)

Eating: I recently made this Sriracha Lime Chicken salad for Chris and I and it rocked our worlds. Nothing says fresh like grilled pineapple. Hello spring!

Reading: The Cuckoo's Calling and Scary Close. Too soon to share my thoughts, but so far, so good!

Obsessing: Over the Espresso Pull Bar at Argosy in Atlanta. I went with some girls for brunch last Saturday and tried the Original. Holy cow. Espresso, coconut milk, almond milk and chocolate. Needless to say, it was like a dessert. And amazing!

Rejoicing: That spring has arrived {and April!}. I head to the beach with my family this weekend to celebrate my mom's birthday and couldn't be more excited about it.

Happy day! Do good out there!

Your Life Doesn't Begin When You Get Married

I was 24 when I moved to Atlanta for the boy I was sure I'd marry and 24.5 when everything fell apart and I found out, with certainty, that I would not be marrying him. I was confused and terrified and heartbroken. I remember telling my mom: I just never expected to be starting over at 24! I never thought I'd be getting married after 25!

I've been wrong about a lot of things in my 20s but, that one is at the top of the list, which I can see clearly now from my 28-point-of-view. Somewhere along the line I was conditioned to believe that getting married means someone has chosen you - that you are worthy of being selected. Of a diamond ring. Of a white dress. Of getting a plus one for life. Somewhere I started to believe that getting married makes you more worthy because some other human has identified, investigated and confirmed your worth. And that you are, in fact, worthy of diamonds.

Somewhere along the line, it also seems I was conditioned to believe that my life would begin when I got married. 

I started to believe that life before marriage was a waiting game. Stick it out - wait for him to come along - it'll happen when you least expect it - he will find you. But life after marriage? Then you're really living. You're actually alive.

I was so wrong.

Not because life after marriage isn't beautiful and lively. I am sure it is! But because life before marriage counts too. It isn't the dark period, where they dim the lights before the real show starts. No, this is it - this is part of the show, too. You are significant and worthy and the life you're building in your 20s counts. Every minute of it. Whether you're married or single need not matter.

I wish I'd believed this sooner. I wish I hadn't spent my 25th year searching for my partner in crime and had, instead, just lived. 

This decade, I think, is actually shorter than the others. It happens in a blink. You go from being 24, feeling like you're poor and a disaster and why didn't anyone warn you about this phase of life! To the end of your 20s and suddenly things are falling into place a little more. Is life perfect? Of course not. But you don't want to cry all the time or feel like you're a constant mess. You figure out what you want to do with your career and make deep friendships that aren't based on alcohol. You learn to respect your body and treat it well. You find new hobbies, learn how to have adult conversations and actually get enough sleep. You grow into the adult you want to be and, before you know it, you kind of (sort of) are an adult. Even if you still don't feel like one. And you look back at 24 and smile. Because, golly, I sure thought 26 sounded so old. 

I wouldn't swap my days at 24 for 28, or vice versa. Each one counted, no matter my relationship status at the time. Each one was important and significant and got me to where I am today. 

So if you're 23, 26 or 29 and wondering what the heck is going on, embrace it. Believe in who you are and what you know, but don't be afraid to stretch yourself a little. Keep going; keep growing. You are worthy. And you are alive.