ATL Free Dates Final & Five Things Friday

Happy Friday! Tonight is Chris and my last date of our 30 Days of Free Dates. Yaay! He's grilling salmon from Fresh Harvest as our final hurrah. I'll probably be making goat cheese guacamole. Again! I'm hooked.

Tomorrow, we're going kayaking at Sweetwater, then he's taking me to a mystery lunch spot. The only clue I got was to come hungry. Nottaproblem! 

The past week of free dating has been pretty low key, since we threw the surprise party last weekend. We did manage to squeeze in a Braves game, because one of my friends gave me free tickets, which included free food. Boom!

We were laughing that we haven't been back to a Braves game since last summer, when we had the same free tickets. We spent most of it talking about a job offer I'd just received in Africa, instead of watching. How different our lives would be today had I taken it! It made me so grateful for what God is doing in my life right here in this sweet city. Sometimes, we have to go to faraway places for big adventures. Other times, they're right in our own backyard.

As we wrap up all this free dating, I'm shocked to see how much is still unfinished on the list we made.  I also feel (probably too) proud we survived the lack of coffee dates. And I ca-n-n-ot wait to get dressed up for a date night soon. A night on your porch just ain't the same as a night on the town!

For a little Friday thinking, I saw this question posed recently and thought I'd share:

If you had one million in your bank account, how would you answer these questions?

1 place to visit: Greece! Or Bora Bora. I think I need two :)

1 thing to do before you die (a memory of a lifetime): Ride an elephant. I've been itching to do this for years and had some weird idea I'd get to do it in Africa. It's on my bucket list!

1 thing to do daily: Say thank you. And I love you. More & more.  You never regret it.

1 thing to do weekly: Have a dance party in lieu of typical exercise. You never regret that, either.

1 thing you’ve always wanted to learn: How to be an awesome photographer.

How would you answer? Have a great weekend!

you need more nurturing than you think {and other life truths}

This past weekend, my mom came to Atlanta to help Chris and me throw a surprise birthday party for his mom. It was amazing to have her here and the whole time I just kept thinking, "Will I know how to do this stuff this well when I'm a mom?" She thought of everything when it came to party planning - those tiny details I'd never remember, but made such a difference.

After the party was over, we spent a lot of time in our garden. My mom, dad - and honestly all my aunts and uncles - have pretty amazing green thumbs. I always find myself struck with both awe and envy when I see how naturally it comes to them.

As my mom and I were working in our garden, I noticed she kept giving me little tips. I thought if you took out the fact that she was dealing plants, her advice wouldn't be all that different when it comes to our own self care.

1. Be patient with yourself.  I watched as my mom spread soil gently between each stalk of corn and basil plant. She went slowly and meticulously, taking her time to tend to each one. She told me that you have to be patient with each plant - making certain you give it enough time and sunlight and soil to grow at the right pace.

I think sometimes we need permission to give ourselves enough time and rest and nourishment to grow. 

We hurry ourselves and expect instant results and improvement. But we need time. And that's OK. In fact, if we are able to give ourselves permission to slow down and have our needs met, we'll be stronger and happier in the long run.

2. We don't all need (or want) the same things. I tend to go for a one-size-fits-all approach in the garden. If my hydrangeas need one pitcher of water each day, my corn must, too. But this isn't how it works. Some plants need more sun and some need more water.

It's the same way with people. We all need different things to help us grow. What works for our friends (say, maybe married with two babies by 28) might not work for us. We have to give ourselves permission to do things differently and to have different needs. I may be corn and you may be basil. We are different. And that's really beautiful.

3. Be gentle with yourself. As I dumped my soil into the garden, pummeling my mint and squash, my mom reminded me to be gentle with the plants. They are tender and delicate. And so are people.

Sometimes I think we forget that we're all human and we need love and gentleness more than we need most things. You are not perfect, but you deserve grace and kindness and positive self-talk. 

4. Feeling safe and secure is really important. My mom said our plants weren't growing as strong as they could because we hadn't put in enough soil. Since it was so shallow, they didn't feel secure in the box. She had us add more soil around them, so they felt more rooted and secure. It's important that we understand what we need to feel safe and secure as individuals, too. Do you need vulnerability? Stability? Adventure? Understanding what we need to feel safe & secure will allow us to grow.

5. We need more nurturing than people realize. As we finished gardening, I was trying to crunch numbers with my mom, "How much water does each plant need each day?" I was asking her. And she told me that the plants would tell me if I wasn't watering them enough - they'd start to wilt in the hot Georgia sun. She said that she thinks plants tend to need more nurturing than people think.

And I realized that we're really just the same. I think we tend to live in silos and do our best to keep our needs to a minimum. But, in reality, we are meant to live in community, supporting one another. We are meant to care for one another and nurture growth together.

We don't need to minimize our needs, but instead, be vocal, honest and vulnerable about what we need. In doing that, we can grow into stronger individuals, so we can care for one another better. And that's pretty beautiful. 

happy monday // links i love

Happy Monday, friends!

I'm off work today, playing with my mom, who came into town Friday. I just wanted to check in and say hello!

Also, a few links I loved over the weekend:

Loving this idea: 30 day challenge to take more risks - via Greatist.

Itching to read and employ these tactics: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Good read on being too busy: Slow Down, Life is Now about Being Busy via Thought Catalog

Wanting to make this Banana Bread Smoothie via Gimme Some Oven

Super  excited that: It's our last week of free dating!

Have a great day!

Five Facts from a Guy {about girls} #2

Happy Friday, friends! I'm back today with Five Facts from a Guy, round two.

Before I dive in, though, I want to make sure I'm addressing an important element of this series. This is not about telling you how to act, what to do differently or where you're inadequate. It's the opposite, in fact. I hope these facts shine light on the idea that you are enough. You are worthy of the best love and I hope this insight reminds you to never settle, to speak up for yourself, maintain your independence and to be confident in your utter beauty.

Today's facts are from my youngest brother, Sam. Here's what he has to say. Enjoy!

{Sam with his cute girlfriend, Abbey}

1. Maintain relationships with your friends. We’ve all been guilty of this one because it’s just so darn easy to do - don’t bail on your friends to spend time with your guy. Why? To start, it will hurt your friends. And dismissing your friends to spend all your time with your guy is a slippery slope towards dependence. And dependence can kind of freak us out. Don’t get me wrong, being apart can feel painful at times, but independence is really beautiful. Plus, some time for bromance makes us all better fellas.

2. Don't be afraid to tell me if I hurt your feelings. If a guy isn't willing to listen, genuinely admit his wrongdoing, and apologize, he doesn't deserve you. I know guys can be a bit  out of touch and stubborn, but that doesn't excuse us from being gentlemen. And don't let a guy play the unaware card; we are fully capable of identifying and understanding your emotional needs.

3. Own your personal style, not what’s in style. This may sting a little but, don’t let the fashion industry fool you; maxi skirts, middle parts and booties don’t look good on everyone. And this goes for men, too - we can't all wear slim fit selvedge denim or a double breasted suit. Do these things look great on some people? Of course. Understand what works for you and wear it with confidence - not for me, not for the world, for you. If high-waisted black jeans and a white tee are your home-runs, wear them, cause they’re your home-runs and you’ll feel confident in them. And there’s nothing more attractive than confidence.

4. My interests don’t have to be your interests. There’s a fine line here. It's a fun feeling to learn you are developing a new, shared interest. But, do you really give a hoot about how many goals Lionel Messi scored in La Liga last season? If that sounds like Spanish to you, that’s ok! I want you to support my interests, but if watching soccer feels more like watching grass grow then enjoy a little time apart. That’s a perfect chance to display your independence or call up those friends!

5. On the flipside, if none of our interests align, it might be time to cut it off. You sleep with all 3 of your cats, I’m allergic to cats. You fist pump to EDM, I want to be lulled to sleep by the Oh Hellos. You like white pizza, pizza blanca, or whatever the heck it’s called, I know that sauce is the best ingredient. You get the picture – we aren’t a match made in Heaven. So call a spade a spade and let it go.  A lack of shared interests will result in boredom and a disconnect.

In case you missed the first one, read last week's Fast Fact from a Guy