oh bother

When my brothers joined me at IU, I was plagued with worry.

What if they don't go to class? What if they party too much? What if they pick the wrong major, don't get an internship, don't like it, don't  like their professors...?

And, unfortunately, this is a life approach I adopted long ago (I think around the age of three). Duke summed it up once when he said: Telling you not to worry is like telling a normal person not to breathe.

About a year and a half ago, I reached my low point with worry. I was stuck in an ongoing cycle, where I was completely consumed with what ifs. I couldn't break free of it.

But then, a few months later, I experienced a pretty bad break up, at which point ev.ery.thi.ng I had worried about came true. Everthing and more, in fact.

And guess what?

I'm still here! It was hard. Really hard. But when what feels like your worst nightmare of worries comes true, it becomes a whole lot easier to stress less, and really believe that God won't give you more than you can handle.

Oh, and guess what else?

Worrying about all of those things didn't keep them from happening. And it didn't make it easier when they did.

I know it's hard to break free of it when you're a chronic worrier. Sometimes, I think of the words of my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Plantan. When I was stressing too much about an upcoming test, she said, Whitney, draw a dot on this piece of paper. And I drew the dot. Then she said, This piece of paper is your life. And this test doesn't even represent that dot. In fact, all of the tests in 6th grade combined don't make up that whole dot.

And she was right. I don't remember the score I got on that test, or even what the subject was. But I do remember the lesson on perspective she gave me, which seems a whole lot more important now.

That's all :)