playing hard to get

 

When we're neighbors we can go on walks after dinner.

 

When we live in the same town, we can take yoga together and have wine nights.

 

When we live closer together, we can make dinner and go on double dates.

 

I can't tell you how many times I have some variation of that conversation with my family and friends each week. It's like my coping mechanism for the distance between me and so many of the people I love: it won't last forever - you'll be with them soon - just hold on to the dream.

 

I was recently talking with Katie, who lives in Chicago, and was telling her that this spring, Atlanta is really starting to feel like home to me. And it feels so good - it's life-giving and fulfilling and makes me feel like I'm starting to understand my piece of this post-grad puzzle. But it also makes me feel panicked, and I didn't understand why at first. But then I asked Katie if she was going to buy a house in Chicago and she said: no, because then I'm stuck. I can't just leave.

 

 

And then I finally understood why it scares me that Atlanta feels like home. If Georgia begins to feel like the place I am meant to be, and if it begins to take up more room in my heart - if I love my job and relationships and am putting down roots - what happens to my plans? What happens to wine nights on my back patio with my far away friends?

 

It's like I've spent the last 2.5 years playing hard to get with this city: I can leave anytime. If you don't give me the job/husband/friends/life I want, I'll leave. I have lots of people I could run to, you know? If this doesn't work out, I'll be fine. I'll be out of here.

 

But as my relationships and career and life have begun to grow and develop, this city has slowly taken hold of my heart. The stakes are higher and it would be harder to leave.

 

 

Court and her family recently decided to move back to Virginia, and Ash and her family decided to buy a new house in Colorado - and both of their husbands are starting new jobs in their respective states.

 

So how can this be? How can my sisters both be doing what I'm doing in Atlanta, but doing it so far away?

 

I'm not sure, exactly. It doesn't make sense to me just yet, but I've noticed lately that life has a funny way of working itself out. Just when you think things aren't making sense it all, so often it seems lots of little pieces fall in to place. So for now, we just have to keep building the life and relationships that feel right in this moment, and doing our best to make the distance seem a little smaller than it really is.

 

And someday, when we're all sitting on our back porch, eating dinner after a long day together, we'll know that the time apart was worth exploring. And the time together? It'll be worth the wait.

 

I just know it.

 

 

image, image, image, image

 

::final four weekend::

Our fair Hoosiers didn't make it to the Final Four this weekend, but that didn't keep us from enjoying the tourney in Atlanta. The city was on fire with tons of energy, free events and great weather. It was the type of weekend that makes me happy from head to toe and so grateful to live in a big city. 

On Friday, my parents were in Atlanta as they drove home from the beach. We had cocktails on our front porch and went to dinner at Barcelona for my mom's birthday. It was the perfect way to relax before Saturday's festivities. I loved having them here!

On Saturday, Ben and Melissa and I met up with friends downtown for a day of free concerts. We missed Zac Brown Friday, but got to see Macklemore, Ludacris and Flo-Rida. There's something funny about being at a rap concert in the middle of the day, but we didn't let it hold us back. :)

After that, we went to dinner at the Righteous Room and out in the Highlands with Stacie. We danced to blues at Blind Willies, showing off our finest Cotillion moves.

I hope you had a great weekend and enjoyed the amazing weather. Spring is here, my friends!

 

r&r at its finest

Life is a funny thing and it seems the minute I found myself at my breaking point - setting rules and taking names - is just when my problem solved itself. Thursday, I scheduled this post, then hit the road for vacation. Just as it posted itself Friday morning, I hopped in the car for the last hour of my drive. I talked to Court and she asked me what I planned to do all day, since no one in our family was coming in until around 5 p.m.

And then it hit me.

I'd been so busy trying to figure out when I was going to finally learn to have some alone time - finally get my head on straight, ducks in row - that I didn't even realize I'd have all day Friday at the beach, by myself. I'd be homeless, since check-in wasn't until 3, wifiless, computerless, companionless. I could do exactly what I'd been saying I wanted to do for the last 3 months. Hang out with myself.

And then I laughed out loud at my own lack of foresight.

And then I got to chilling.

I sat by the ocean and read Love Does for hours. I ate lunch alone outside at a cafe - drinking Chai, people watching and enjoying the ocean breeze. I went on a walk and a run and then another walk, because why not? I read some more and ignored my phone and felt the kind of peaceful rechargedness that I felt when I broke my foot and was house-bound. But this time it was voluntarily, which has a much more peaceful and less anxious prisoner kind of vibe.

By the end of the day, I was, of course, itching like a fool for my family to arrive, because, let's be honest. I don't really love being alone that much. I'd much prefer company and chaos over solitude any day of the week. But sometimes, when you stumble upon a sleepy beach town and are alone without any distractions, you're reminded just how great it is to have a little solo time.

Looks like I don't need handcuffs, after all. Just unlimited time off and a sea breeze. Is that so much to ask!?

Happy Friday, guys!

{sweet spring break}

I got back from the beach Tuesday night and felt a kind of refreshed and recharged that I haven't felt in a long time. It was the perfect kind of slow vacation where your main concerns are getting iced coffee, getting in a workout, not waking up to an alarm, and what book you should read next because 7+ hours by the pool or ocean add up in the best way possible.

I talked to Courtney on the phone Saturday night and at the end of the conversation, she said, "Are you OK?" because my response rate was so slow and I think I had the kind of relaxed intonation that made her wonder if maybe I was on drugs.

For the first time ever, we decided to venture to Georgia's south beaches. I know, I just told you  that we're Emerald Coast do or diers, but we planned the trip last minute, so 30A was all booked up, and we couldn't let that stop us from getting our R&R. We're Rosemary-lovers but we're not crazy. We need the beach, people!

We went to St. Simon's and were charmed and dazzled by its quaintness. If you're familiar with the 30A area, you know that the panhandle is a manicured vacation mecca. Everything is perfect and tended to a T. St. Simon's is a departure from this - it natural and untouched. It's a quintessential Southern beach town, where everyone moves slowly and eats their food fried and has signs out front that read, "Add a bottle of wine to any meal for $10."

It's sweet and slow and exactly what we needed for a our spring break. We got up early and went to bed early and read books and laid by the pool and ocean and lost track of time. We ignored our phones and constantly found ourselves asking what day it was. We did family boot camp (led by Duke) and went on runs and walks and got iced coffee until we didn't even want it anymore. I went blow dryer, straightener and make up free - running in from the beach 20 minutes before we planned to leave for dinner just to hop in the shower. We did things we never make time to do - even on vacation - that only a Southern town can slow you down enough to make happen.

The ONLY problem with the trip is that not everyone could come. We were missing the rest of our family greatly. Before I left Tuesday, I made sure to send everyone in my family an email to get plans in motion for our next vacation. A trip like this is too good to let end without another one on the horizon. Sandestin for Labor Day, anyone?

See you at the beach!